If I Had You // Cole x Kai

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For Jay-Lightning .

Challenge: If I Had You

Pairings: (one-sided) Lavashipping, Kailor (mentioned), Jaya (minor)

Setting: after Lost in Time

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If I Had You

Cole glanced around the small, dark room.

Although the ninja – well, technically only Wu, Kai and Nya – had defeated the Hands of Time and had rescued the siblings' parents from the swamp, none of them were in the mood to celebrate. It had been a very long day, and the exhaustion and the loss of their beloved Sensei weighed hard on them. So, instead of celebrating or simply going to sleep into their separate rooms, the team were all huddled up together in the game room, trying to distract themselves.

Zane and the new Samurai VXL were seated on one of the sofas, engaged in a deep and very sophisticated conversation.

Lloyd was on the floor in front of the other couch, racing against Jay in the Ninjaball Run competition. Cole smiled. Playing video games was still one of the few occasions where the Green Ninja could forget about his responsibilities and even his new role as Master and still be the child that he chronologically still was.

The blue Ninja was up on the sofa facing their television. He had his arm tightly wrapped around his girlfriend, while operating the controller.

Earlier this evening, while her parents had been with them, the young couple had limited all physical contact to holding hands, and it looked like they were making up for the lost time now that Ray and Maya had gone to sleep in one of the guest rooms the Ninja had at the Temple of Airjitzu.

The Masters of Lightning and Water were snuggled together so tightly that together they only occupied about half a seat on the three-seater, although for some obvious reason no one felt like sharing the couch with them.

But the black-haired ninja didn't mind. He had meant what he said on the hospital roof. He was glad that they had made up. It was nice to see his best friend being this happy again. And Cole had never felt that strongly about Nya anyway...

Not as strongly as Jay felt for her.

And not as strongly as Cole felt for her brother.

Finally, the black Ninja's eyes fell on Kai. As usual, the red Ninja was trying his hardest to ignore his sister and her boyfriend's display of affection. Slouched up in a bean bag, he was busy typing into his phone. This was not an uncommon sight, but the cute smile on the spiky-haired male's face suggested that right now he was not boasting about their latest achievements on Chirper, but was rather chatting with a too well-known redhead.

And Cole didn't like that idea at all.

The Master of Earth had had a slight crush on the red Ninja ever since they first met. His appearance, the way he cared for his younger sibling (and later also for his honorary little brother Lloyd), and the passion in everything Kai did had captivated Cole right from the start. For a short while, he had managed to redirect his affection to the Fire Master's sister. And even if it had not been the most pleasant experience, fighting with Jay had proved a good distraction as well. But now that all had been said and done, his true feelings had returned, stronger than ever.

And this afternoon, when the siblings of Fire and Water had followed the Krux and Acronix into the time vortex, realisation had finally hit him at full force.

There was no more denying it. Cole was in love with Kai.

But unfortunately, Kai was in love with Skylor.

The air in the game room suddenly felt very stuffy, and Cole desperately needed to get out of here.

"Uhm, does anyone want something from the kitchen? I am getting a drink." He asked, jumping up from his previous position on the floor.

But there was no reply. The others were too busy to have even heard his question; he doubted that anyone would miss him.

The black Ninja passed the kitchen and went outside. He sat down on the stairs leading into the Temple of Airjitzu and looked up at the sky. The sparkling stars reminded him of the golden specs in Kai's beautiful amber eyes.

Cole sighed. Even out here, he couldn't get away from thinking about his love... it wasn't fair. And it definitely wasn't fair that Kai was still hung up on Skylor, after all she had done to them.

If Cole had Kai...

He would never betray him.

He would never lead him into a trap.

He would never try to make him join the wrong side.

He would never ever leave him, if Kai asked him to stay.

But... he could never make the red Ninja love him as much as he loved her.

So, in the end Cole had to accept that Skylor deserved to have Kai, just because she made him happy. Even though it hurt.

"The stars are very beautiful tonight, aren't they?" The comment snapped him out of his thoughts. The Green Ninja was standing next to him. "May I join you?"

"Sure." Cole replied. And yes, they are. He added in his thoughts, as Lloyd was taking a seat next to him.

"So, who won?" Cole enquired, happy to move away from his own problem. "I'm surprised you've already finished the race..."

"Well, Jay got distracted and crashed his racer into a tree, then he and Nya went to her room to continue whatever they were doing..."

"I don't think I want to hear more about them..." Cole grinned. "But how are you doing?"

The Master of Energy had barely recovered from the loss of his father, and now his uncle had gotten lost in time, leaving a lot of responsibilities on the young shoulders of Master Lloyd.

"I'm okay." He shrugged. And although Cole knew that this was not true, he had to accept this answer for now. It would probably take a while until they were ready to talk about what happened...

"But what about you?" Lloyd suddenly asked. "How can you still stay so strong?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"I have no experience with relationships, but this must be very painful I guess..." The blonde boy remarked, giving Cole a knowing look.

"Wh-what? H-how?" Cole spluttered.

"I saw it." Lloyd stated matter-of-factly. "When Kai and Nya went after the Iron Doom, everyone was busy looking up. But as temporary master in training, it was my duty to watch out for my team. And when you shouted Kai's name, your face showed exactly the same expression as Jay's did when he called after Nya. You love him, don't you?"

"I do." Cole admitted. "I've liked – loved him for a while now. But... he is in love with Skylor, and I want him to be happy, no matter how much it hurts..."

"You are a great friend, Cole. And you have always sacrificed your own needs for the team. I hope that one day you will find someone who loves you as much as you love them."

"Thanks, bro." Cole gave his brother a weak smile. "I hope so too."

One day it will hopefully stop hurting.

Lloyd stood up. "I'm going back in. Are you coming as well?"

"Just give me another minute, okay?"

Cole took another glimpse at the sparkling stars, imagining he was looking Kai's face.

If only I had you... He thought.

But he didn't.

And he never would.

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