Puen's POV
I was sitting at the edge of my window, looking ahead to the sky. We had done with the tournament. It's been a week. Although we didn't win, somehow I felt happy. I got to spend time with my friends, practicing our asses off day and night. And I had a good setter, willing to work hard for my sake. I saw his effort. I knew he wanted the best for me. I knew for a fact that I had to synchronize with his play as well, but I let him find the way on his own. I forced him to become like Singha. Until I forgot that as a spiker, I had to be able to play in a diverse style.
At a point, I wanted to change my style to be able to play with him. But I didn't give in to my ego. I wanted to see if he was willing to change, not me. And he did. He did his best. Always. It gave warm feeling to my heart in a kinda good way. It's not the same feeling I had for Singha. But still, I couldn't put a word to it.
"Hey!"
I was a bit startled when he patted me on my back. I heard his laugh. He then took a sit beside me. The same position when we talked about my parents not long ago. I averted my gaze to him and he gave me his broadest smile as always.
"What are you thinking, P'?"
"Nothing,"
"Ow. But you looked deep in thought. Or are you doing stargazing?" he teased.
I chuckled and shook my head. "Stargazing, huh?" I looked out the window. "There are no stars tonight," I stated.
Than popped his head outside and stared at the sky. He then stood up and went to switch off the lamp. I furrowed my brows while looking at him who's making his way to sit beside me again.
"It's best to do stargazing in a dark place. Don't you think so?" he smirked, raising his brows.
"Oh yeah?" I looked ahead. "It could be,"
He smiled. We then fell into silence.
This sure brings back memory. This guy is a chatterbox. I had commented about him once. But despite that, he's the one that hold on to his promise. He never left me when others did. He was true to his words.
And he was here in my room because we had been practicing late at night. He didn't want to go home so I took him here. As the tournament ended, we rarely see each other as we didn't have practice as often as before. I also got busy with my studies as well because this was my last year. He was still practicing hard as always. He wanted to win the championship next year. He wanted to prove it to his dad that he was serious to volleyball. And nothing could change that.
"I said it before but somehow, I still felt guilty."
He suddenly blurted out the sentences. I turned to look at him. "What are you talking about?"
He put his hands beside his thigh on the edge of the window, supporting his weight. "I couldn't win you the champion title," he said slowly.
"I already told you that it's alright,"
"I guess, I couldn't be like Singha." He stopped and turned to look at me. "Last year, although you lost to St. Sebastian, you still got the title as the Best Spiker. Singha made you one. But with me, you can't even get that. I was terrible, isn't it?"
I stared into his eyes, got stunned by his words. I never knew he would still think about that. I smiled to him before I spoke out. "That title is nothing. I admitted that somehow it made you feel proud, happy and honored. You were being recognized by people. It's a good feeling. But..." I trailed off.
He looked at me, waiting for me to continue.
"I liked the feeling best when I played. It was fun, especially getting to play along with you. It was that feeling that made me fell for volleyball so much. And I want to keep it for a long time. That's why I won't quit. So, I want you to do the same. The past is past. Nothing can be changed,"
He got these teary eyes while looking at me. He's such a crybaby, isn't it?
"This time, you want to continue playing because you want it or because of Singha?" he asked me.
For a while, I didn't know what to say. I remembered my last conversation with Singha. We promised to play against each other in colleges. As I had said, it's an unfinished business between us. I wanted to play with him. I knew I wanted it. But this time, it wasn't the solid reason for me anymore. I've got something more valuable than that. I wanted to keep playing because I wanted to be with someone.
"Because I want it." I said finally.
Than gave me a skeptical look.
I continued. "I was too blind before to realize the others. I only see Singha because he was the one taught me volleyball. But now, I truly love it and I want to play as long as I can." Singha gave me strength, gave me ways to find my losing self. After my parents leave me, he was there to soothe me. But with Than, I wanted to be stronger than before. He set the ball better for me. And no matter how, I wanted to spike them all.
"It's good if it's like that, P'. I will cheer for you." He smiled.
I nodded my head.
"Than..."
"Hm?"
"This time, I knew I would stay for a long time because..."
We stared into each other's eyes.
"I like me better when I'm with you,"
I saw him gasped at my words. He looked at me with those confusing but yet mesmerizing eyes. "What is that supposed to mean?" he questioned.
I jumped off the window and walked to my bed. "Who knows..." I was back-facing him. "However you want to describe it, it's up to you," I said.
How many nights will it take to learn that love is not found at every corner? But you've helped me feel love and that's what has been causing the problem.
Yeah. I never knew I would have this good feeling for him. I guess, there's no need for a reason or explanation. Because love doesn't have a definition.
"If no one else understands, but we do, is it enough?"
I stopped without looking at him. I asked that question once to myself. But I didn't dare to answer.
He then walked towards me as I could hear his footsteps. He stopped in front of me. "So, P'..." he started.
I raised my brows, waiting for him to continue.
"I wanna ask... do you want to go for a nightwalk?"
That question made me burst into laughter. He also grinned from ear to ear.
I know. It's awkward.
Right now, I didn't know who I am or what I had become. But I still know that I'm good as long as he's here with me.
Damn. I like me better when I'm with him.
Then I said, "Sure. Why not?"
A/n: Somehow I decided to write this. I love the song and I love the guys. I can't stop myself from thinking about them. I wanna give credit to the singer because of his beautiful song. Love this Lauv guy a lot. Check him out. He's awesome.
