Don't Hide from Me
"Go away" Minhyuk shouted at the person on the other side of the door. "Why are you here now? After everything? After you asked me to leave you alone!"
"Because I realized I made a mistake Minhyuk!" Hyunwoo replied. "Please let me in, let's just talk it out."
"There is nothing else I have to say....." Minhyuk said, losing his composure. "I said everything I felt, I showed you all of me Hyunwoo... but you just kept pushing me away..." he sobbed at the end not able to hold back his tears.
"Why would I trust you now?"
"I know.. Minhyuk, I'm sorry. I can't not be around you, I need you okay... please let me in, please let's just talk it out. I'll make things better" Minhyuk heard him say, repeat the words he had said just a few days back.
" You don't really mean that do you?" Minhyuk said in a calmer voice, he was accepting his fate, the man he loved would never love him back. He wouldn't be enough.
"Yes, you'd be lost without me, but only for a while. Hyunwoo.... You don't really need me, you're just used to me that's all. But I can't take it anymore. Being around you is painful, I'm sorry I'm breaking my promise, but I am in love with you, I'm in so deep I think your it for me. And being around you is a constant reminder of the fact that you will never feel the same..." Minhyuk ended at another sob, he felt the tears flooding down his cheeks faster as his heart throbbed. He placed his forehead on the door, hearing his breathing. He was so tired.
"I love you too..." he heard from the other side... " Minhyuk I am in love with you too." Hyunwoo's steady voice replied through the door and he blurted out the words in an effort to protect himself.
"Are you ill or something?"
.....
He was in a bad state again, he still remembered holding those pale limp hands while the man he loved bled onto the road.
The fact that there was nothing he could have done about it ate away at him as he sat on the steps outside his deceased lover's apartment.
It had been 2 years now.
"Can I help you?" He heard a husky voice ask from beside him. He looked up to see a young and lanky man looking back at him, this bout had hair as white as the snow.
"Um...." Hyunwoo was at a loss of words..
"Well this is my apartment, so if you could excuse me." He said in a sweet tone, as if he felt bad for the man crying at his doorstep.
"This was Kihyun's home...." Hyunwoo said, the words slipping from his lips.
He looked at the man's expression soften and pain flash in his eyes.
"Why don't you come in?" The man said extending a hand to Hyunwoo.
"I'm Minhyuk, Kihyun's best friend."
....
It had been more than a year now since Hyunwoo had met Minhyuk. They walked to Kihyun's grave with heavy hearts.
Hyunwoo felt guilty for whatever had happened the night before, they had gotten drunk on the eve of Kihyun's death anniversary and ended up sleeping together. Hyunwoo left immediately after everything was done. Both didn't speak about it, but both thought about it, one feeling disgusted, the other longing the touch again.
But Minhyuk held it all in, he wouldn't betray his friend like that, he wouldn't ruin his relationship with Hyunwoo either.
Minhyuk kneeled in front of his best friends grave, wishing he was here beside him.
