Sina Saves

25. Love and Warmth

I felt a pain in my side, my chest, and head. My body went weightless. My heart seized up. I was twirling through the air. Then, the ground got closer and closer. I passed out before I hit the ground.

I woke up feeling the same terrible emotion filled way. I felt incredibly sad but nothing at all. I was exhausted. Then I realized I was touching someone; they were touching me. I couldn't open my eyes; they were too heavy. I was leaning back against someone. Their arm was around my stomach, cradling me. I was moving, like I was on a horse. I wanted to run. I wanted shadow travel. I wanted to get away. Then, I realized something good. Rosemary. Warm. Armin. I felt horrible, but having him near me made it better. At least, until the voices in my mind started arguing.

Left Brain: That's it. Stop it.
Right Brain: Why?
Left Brain: We'll get nothing other than hurt.
Right Brain: You don't know that.
Left Brain: He'll take our heart.
Right Brain: He can have it.
Left Brain: He'll break it.
Right Brain: He wouldn't. He's too sweet.
Left Brain: We'll get hurt.
Right Brain: So? It's worth the risk.
Left Brain (rolls eyes and turns): I've kept us safe for this long. Listen to me.
Left Brain (turns too): Listen to me. Survival mode is turned off except for when we're in combat. We need him to survive everything else. He's worth the risk.

Everything except the feeling of Armin's soft, warm skin and the smell of rosemary faded around me. I was going to be okay. Armin would protect me from anything and everything. He had all of my trust. I don't just give that out. I slipped asleep thinking about all of his small things: the way he looked at me, the way his Iris pattern seemed to move back and forth when he was thinking, the way he smiled at me, the way he laughed, the way he held himself, the way he held me...

Finally, Right Brain won over Left Brain. I love him. I can't lose him. I'll protect him the way he protects me. I'll try to be there for him the way he is for me. I'll do everything I failed to do before. I'll tell him about my past if he asks. I'll do everything for him. I care about his happiness more than my own. I need him. I love him more than I love anything or anyone, maybe even Nico. I love him.

I woke up and saw Wall Maria nearing. I felt much better. I still felt shaky from being weightless in the air. I could manage flying on Agro, tall buildings and the walls. I could not handle being weightless three-ish meters above the ground. Nope. I realized I was still against Armin's chest. He really was a fantastic pillow. His arm was around my stomach. I opened my eyes and looked up at him. His hair was flying back behind him. Ugh so beautiful. He was looking ahead. I looked back at Wall Maria. It was close.

I finally decided to let Armin know I was awake rather than just stare at his face [although it was a pretty good way to spend time]. "You are a great pillow."

He looked down at me his face was slightly red. "I-I didn't th-think you being alone on Agro was a good i-idea, and I-I don't fight and Will's got people to heal and..."

"You're a great pillow." I put emphasis on great to get my point across. I snuggled closer against him. "Thanks for everything." I meant it. I meant for the first time we met, the hugs, the kindness, the acceptance, the everything he did for me.

He looked at me like he didn't understand completely. "Your welcome. I'd do anything for you."

"Oh..." I forced down the red that attempted to rise to my cheeks. I looked at Armin, and he looked at me for what felt like hours. It was probably only a few seconds, but I got myself lost in the details of his face: the way his eyes curved, the lines around them, his little nose, his mouth, and the way shadows fell across his face.