The Summer Cal Left

Chapter 15

                                            Cal’s P.O.V

    Her brown hair drowns the pillow in its lushes locks. Her chocolate brown eyes sparkle as her pink lips scream in pleasure. Her slender fingers find their way through my hair, gripping it tight as more pleasure finds her. I grip the side of the bed, feeling as if we are both one.

    I sit up abruptly, gasping for air. I wipe my forehead as sweat drips down my cheeks. It was only a dream, but I could feel everything that was happening. I could feel her, smell her, and see her. Oh how much I have missed her. These two weeks have been hard on both of us, especially me. Farah hurt me, breaking off a portion of my heart. I want to go back to her, to run into her arms and embrace her with every ounce of love that I feel for her. But I can’t do that, not yet anyway. I’m not ready to face her. After all, she did hurt me.

   Slowly, I get out of bed and head down stairs, ignoring the mirror in the hallway. I head into the kitchen and look at the clock on the microwave. 1:20 a.m., great, I’ve always wanted to be sleep deprived at a chemo session. I open the fridge quietly, not wanting to wake mom. I take out a carton of orange juice and sit down at the table, taking a small sip. I think quietly, trying to figure this mess out.

  Farah is the only thing I’ve ever wanted in my life. She’s the only person I dream about, think about, and long for. I don’t know what I would do without her.  She’s my other half, the only person I’ll ever want, ever need. Being away from her leaves me feeling lonely inside. I feel as if I could fade away at any moment, leaving behind the one thing I truly care about.

  I take another sip of orange juice, trying to figure out what this all means. I love Farah, so why am I away from her? I stand up abruptly, knowing automatically what I have to do. I have to talk to her, to see her. I know that being away from her hurts me more than being with her. I know that if I just hold her, embrace her, I will find the love and comfort I need to beat this cancer, to start a life with her and be with her forever.

  I quietly walk out the door, making my way across the street to Farah’s. Before I can cross the road, something hits me. A wave of pain sends me cowering to the ground in agony. I hold my head, trying to make it stop. I scream out, crying for help. Crying for someone, anyone, to stop the pain.

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                                                         Farah’s P.O.V

     Rain pounds against the worn-out roof of the tree house. The wind whips the drops around, forcing some inside. I lay there, my knees tucked up under my chin, hoping this is all a dream. I hope that when I wake up, Cal will be right next to me, snoring quietly. I hope that when I wake up from this nightmare, Cal will lightly kiss me on the lips, claiming that I am forever his. I know that none of that will come true, but all I can do is hope.

  I used to dream about being close to Cal, kissing him and falling asleep in his arms. I used to think that maybe one day he would be mine forever. I never imagined that once that day would come I would push him as far away from me as possible. I never imagined that as soon as I had him in my grip, as soon as I began to love him, he would walk right out of my life. I guess that’s what happens when you dream up your own fairytales.

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    I toss and turn; hoping sleep will find me soon. I haven’t been able to sleep well since Cal broke up with me two weeks ago. That night lies vivid in my memory forever. It haunts my dreams, offering only lonely, sleepless nights. Nothing will ever be the same. Cal will never come back, he will never again be my best friend and most of all, he will never again love me.

   Tears fall from my eyes as I slowly get out of bed, making my way to the bathroom. Vomit threatens to lurch up, lying in my throat. I look in the mirror, my hand gently on my stomach. I look down at my small baby bump, thinking of Cal. The thought causes me to kneel to the ground and vomit for the thousandth time today. Once I’m done I rinse out my mouth and head down stairs in search of something cold to drink. I notice the time on the microwave clock, 1:50. I sigh and reach for the carton of orange juice, shutting the fridge quietly. I sit down at the counter, slowly sipping on the orange juice, hoping it will take the taste of vomit out of my mouth.

   I sip my orange juice, listening to the distant sounds of the world. I can hear Cal’s voice in my head, screaming for help. I quickly shut my eyes, blocking that image out of my brain. I don’t want to think of Cal as sick or dying. I want to think of him the way I have always known him, healthy and strong. I don’t know if he will ever be that again.

   Cal is all I’ve ever wanted, ever needed. Since I was thirteen, he’s been the prince in my fairytale. He’s the one who has saved me from my castle, sweeping me away from the evil witch. He’s the one who has found my glass slipper, forever falling in love. If Cal isn’t here to protect me, to shield me from the harm of the world, I don’t know what I will do. Having his baby will only become harder if he’s not here to help me.

   I sigh and open the fridge, putting the orange juice back in its place. Maybe I’ll be able to get some sleep now. I head towards the stairs and suddenly my phone starts to ring. I look down at the caller ID, my heart skipping a beat.

  “Cal,” I answer, “I’m so glad you called, I-“

  “Farah, it’s Wendy. Cal’s in the hospital.” Cal’s mom cuts me off. The phone slips through the grip of my hand, falling on to the wooden floor. I can hear Wendy calling my name, but I don’t answer. Instead I grab my mother’s car keys, running out the door. The car starts easily, allowing me to back out of the drive way and head down the black road.

   Tears block my vision, streaming down my face. In this moment, nothing else matters. I don’t care if Cal doesn’t want me back, or never wants to see me again. I don’t care if he’s angry with me. Right now, all I care about is making sure he’s alive.