Reliving life

Chapter 36

Ali took me by the hand and led me a few metres away from the others. I stood behind her with my arms around her waist as we waited for the celebrations to begin.

10... 9... 8

Ali leant back and looked up at me, catching my eye she gave me a wide smile and a wink.

4... 3... 2...

Ali had turned around and was facing me, her arms had moved up and were hanging around my neck as she pulled me into kiss her.

1.

Everyone cheered and the first of the fireworks were set off as our lips were about to connect.

*bang, bang*

The fireworks illuminated the sky but before I could even enjoy them I found myself on the floor in the fetal position. I heard screaming and I hadn't even realised it was me. Ali shouted for Hanna not knowing what to do or how to calm me, she looked around in a panic before she saw the other blonde rushing over to us.

One shot. Two shot.
The nightmare went around and around in my head.

Three shot. Four.
Repeating itself and not leaving anything out. My brain was on overdrive. I couldn't think of anything other than that night.

Pain. Searing pain.
It felt as if it was happening again. Pains shot through my stomach and my leg. I couldn't take it for much longer. It hurt so much.

I was led on the ground shaking and sweating, my screams getting hoarse as I damaged my vocal cords with the tension I was putting on them. I was oblivious to what was happening around me, I heard snippets of voices I recognised but couldn't coherently put the words into sentences.

One shot. Two shot.

With each firework that went off I got deeper and deeper into the comatose state my body was putting me in.

Three shot. Four.

It was a defence mechanism and I could feel myself getting light headed and the pain beginning to subside before everything went quiet and then after another few moments that seemed like hours to me everything went black.

Hanna had rushed over to me, quickly followed by the others. She instructed everyone to wait until I stopped shaking as she sat beside me and stroked my face in an attempt to calm me down. The crowd around us had moved away to give us more room and continued to stare in silence as they watched the scene unravel before them.

Spencer had told the crowd not to panic and not to call emergency services. She explained quickly that I was suffering from PTSD and to leave them to deal with it.

Ali stood watching but couldn't keep still, she began to pace back and forth until Spencer walked over and brought her into a tight embrace. She sobbed quietly into Spencer's shoulder, angry and upset with herself that she didn't know how to help and had to rely on someone else. No one had said a word apart from Hanna who quietly whispered into my ear.

"It's ok Emily, you're safe. I'm here, Ali is here" she repeated over and over.

As soon as I blacked out Hanna stood up and instructed Caleb to pick me up and take me back to the cars. He struggled slightly as I was a dead weight but they managed to get me into the back seat and Ali crawled into the seat next to me before they began the drive back home. Hanna told her to just hold me and whisper reassurances to me in case I came back around during the car ride.

Caleb carried me to my room and placed me into the bed fully clothed. My mother was in Texas celebrating the new year with my father so my friends hadn't needed to worry about disturbing her. Hanna then left strict instructions with Alison on what to do once I gained consciousness and left with Caleb. Aria and Spencer had gone home from the city in a separate car once Hanna had persuaded them that there was nothing anyone could do for me now.

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The panic attack must have physically exhausted me and I didn't wake up until well into the morning. In fact it was almost the afternoon. I stirred slightly before the memories of last night began to slowly fade back in. I shook slightly before breathing out slow and hard and recomposing myself, Ali had fallen asleep with her arm stretched out over me and her head nestled into my neck. I slowly moved my arm that was free and stroked the side of her face softly.

"Morning" she said, her morning voice was so sexy.

"..." I tried to reply but the words wouldn't come out and I realised my throat felt like it was on fire.

"Hey, look at me." Ali commanded as she saw me start to panic.

She shifted so that she was hovering over me and had my face in her hands. Forcing me to look her in the eye she smiled slightly before kissing me softly on the lips.

"You did a lot of screaming yesterday. I'm not surprised you lost our voice. I'll get you some water, wait there." Ali said before pecking me on the lips again, crawling off the bed and heading downstairs.

I had several attempts to talk whilst Ali was gone before sighing silently and giving up. I looked at my phone and saw all the unread messages, mainly from Hanna but I decided I wasn't ready to face it all yet and placed my phone back down before rolling over onto my side.

"I'm sorry Emily. I'm sorry I couldn't do more for you yesterday. Hanna knew what to do and I just panicked." Ali whispered as she sat on the bed beside me.

I sat up gently, my body still sore from falling to the ground yesterday. Pulling Ali into a tight embrace I nuzzled into her neck before replying.

"Hanna only knows what to do because she's seen it happen so many times before. You'll get to know what to do in time. But to be fair I don't have half as many episodes when I'm around you"

This causes her to smile and I take a big drink of the water she brought me before I pull her back into the bed, not wanting to do anything for the day except lie in bed and watch tv with her.