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694 42 25

by lovejjong

by lovejjong

Soraru stood up after a few minutes of reminiscing about the past -picking apart the break up between him and Araki, finding out what happened, what had he done wrong to be targeted like that. He knew that not a lot of people would accept him coming out- heck, even his parents doesn't know that he is bisexual and not straight. That he isn't perfect like his brother. He had once asked his mother, many years ago, whether she support people like him or not, but she had just replied bluntly that it's a disgusting nature, before shooting him a glare and telling him that he should not even think about being one. But Soraru couldn't help it, could he?
So after years of pushing his attraction towards males aside and pretending to be interested in the girls only, Soraru felt suffocated and pained. He couldn't live with the lies anymore, and thus, he confessed his gender preferences to his family, his attitude just like someone who had committed a great sin.
His parents are somehow supportive, accepting him with a smile and a hug. Neru was happy, as his brother finally decided to speak the truth to them. They are Soraru's family members, after all. Who would be on his side if not them?

However, now, Soraru has never felt more alone. He forced himself to walk to his study table in order to complete his assignments. When Soraru gripped the pen in his hand, it begun to shake. "Don't do this now," he mutters lowly, tears beginning to build up as he struggled to write, but failed. Tears streaked down his cheeks as he let out a strangled scream, throwing the pen away from him.
The door burst open, but the sound only made Soraru scream louder, as he shut his eyes and closed his palms against his ears. A gentle hand pried his own away, as warmth enveloped him. "Hey, it's going to be okay," the voice said softly, but the raven-haired male just shook his head, tears beginning to stop.

"It won't ever stop."

*°*°*

After successfully calming Soraru down, Hashiyan sat across him on the floor of his bedroom. "Why are you here?" Soraru asked, pouting a little, rubbing his eyes a little. Hashiyan just smiled. "I came to ask you some questions regarding the class just now, but..." He trailed off, a hand clasping Soraru's own. "Are you okay?" He asked softly, and Soraru just looked down.
"I'm fine," he says softly in reply, before inching closer to Hashiyan to get body warmth. "Do you want to talk about it?" Hashiyan asked again, and Soraru shook his head. "I am just..stressed, about upcoming exams and everything. I don't think I did enough." Hashiyan pulled away, placing both hands on Soraru's shoulders. "Hey, you did more than enough. You worked really hard- I mean, I should know, I studied with you, right?" Soraru stared into the other's eyes before breaking eye contact, uncomfortable. "Yeah," he agrees hesitantly.
"It's just hard, you know? Everytime I talk about exams and how hard is it, Suzumu and the other's would just make faces and tell me that they know I'm better than them- I never thought that way!" He exclaimed, and Hashiyan slung an arm over Soraru's shoulder before pulling him down onto the floor.
"Its fine! You still have me- oh! I didn't introduce you to my friends yet, right?" He asked, turning to look at Soraru, whom just returned his look with a confused one.

"I'll introduce you to them tomorrow!"

Hashiyan is the equivalent of my friend that helped me through the hard times in my life. I'm really just grateful to have him in my life- he is great, and even though most of our friends think we are dating, I think we are like, connected on a more.. sibling relationship? I really like him, he is really kind and I just...hope that our friendship will go a long way? Idk.
-aru