Random Stuff

I know, I know...

I know, this isn't based off of song. But, as you know now, writing is a vent for me. I need to vent some emotions right now, or I'll end up screaming at some random person. So here you go then, you stalkers. Yes, I do happen to like somebody in a crush-like way. Let me be young, yosh! I kinda have to thank wirewrestler for- in a way, inspiring me to do this.

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Oh hallways.

Prisons of laughter, angry teachers, and hidden thoughts.

Smile at her.

Come on, you know you want to.

Laugh with him.

Honestly, I think you can do better...

But hey, who am I to say?

It is your life.

Your fascinating life.

Don't you wish I could be more of a stalker?

Would it make you any more special?

Nah, man.

If on a scale from one to ten, I'm a three on the special scale.

You would be a ten.

Oh yosh, all the songs I wish I could connect to us.

Is that normal?

What about me is normal?

Heck, what in the world is normal?

For sure not me.

If anything, I don't want to be normal.

Would you notice me then?

If I was more grounded and "pleasant" to be around?

What fun would that be?

Sometimes I wonder if you ever think about life like I do.

If we're ever in the same mind.

Do you ever feel like no matter how hard you try you can't do something?

I don't.

But I bet you do.

I'm not really one to put myself out there, but you are.

Aren't you.

You do it all the time.

I can tell.

Also, sometimes, I worry about you.

You're held up so high, and sometimes I just feel like you need to chill.

Do you?

Yes, but then you take it too far.

But again, who am I to say.

It's not like I've spoken to you in ages.

Do we even speak the same language?

I doubt it.

You don't even know how much I think about you.

It's pathetic.

Smile.

Just because I care doesn't mean you care.

I am an actress after all, I'm good with feelings.

No I'm not, that's a lie.

See?

Acting.

I'm an emotional wreck sometimes.

Can you believe that?

Me?

You know how in the movies, the girl is always some perfect image?

I'm glad I'm not that.

Life would be too easy if it were a movie.

Honestly, some people don't see that.

Now don't take this into thought.

Live your own life.

Make your own wishes.

Sign your own name.

Most importantly, laugh at your own jokes.

And also don't take me as a child philosopher.

I'm just a girl saying what she thinks.

Sometimes it's a little hard to say this stuff to people in real life.

Even my friends.

I'll sound even crazier.

What's worse, you still won't know.

Does this mean I'll tell you?

Psh, don't be silly.

Yawn, I'm tired now.

I might go to sleep.

As sad as it sounds, I don't dream much anymore.

It's mainly just blackness.

I miss dreams, they were comforting in a way.

Do you think maybe once, as the school year winds down, you could laugh for me?

Smile for me?

Maybe even just look at me.

Is it that hard to do?

Do I hurt your eyes?

Is it that bad?

Heh, I know, I know.

I sound like some depressed child.

And now I feel like one.

This honestly isn't helping me at all.

I know you'll never read this.

So what difference does it make?

Well, at least other people know now.

Music helps when you write.

Sometimes it makes you feel like dancing.

Others, you just want to curl up in your room with a pillow over your head.

It really depends.

Do you get now this isn't so much of a story, it's not a confession either.

It's just- thoughts...

Just stuff I'm thinking at the current time.

I didn't plan this.

I didn't say "Oh, I know, I'll write to this guy and tell him how I feel!"

No...

I didn't do that.

All I did was sit down, and feel the strange urge to talk to you.

However, I'm not stupid.

I know I can't do that right now.

I wish I could though.

Wish.

Wishing is awful for me.

Not once has a wish come true.

I mean, they were all unreasonable wishes.

Example, "I wish he will talk to me tomorrow".

Stuff like that.

In other words?

I'm gonna be up all night.

Thinking about you.

Sometimes, I just need to be like this so I can be happy the other times.

Like when I see you.

I have to be happy then.

I'm kinda sleepy now.

Maybe I'll be able to sleep because I wrote this.

I hope.

Goodnight.