almost // poetry

204

its been some time, ive found my happiness. it wasnt in you, i read it all back to front.
i knew it was too good to be true, & it was. & so none of it was, & they were all right.
'hes using you.'
no, not him. he would never. not after what he promised me. i became so attatched, addicted to the wrong kind.
the love wasnt real, it never lasted. i was fed lies by the most beautiful thing, & i chose not to mind. because for a moment i caught glimpse of the most perfect life, i was a girl left dreaming on her own, content with imagining a life far too sweet for her. nothing else mattered, i had you.
but i never did, & i never would.
you were bitter, & now i am too, but i wont blame you because i dont have the heart & you knew it from the start.
you were right, you never deserved me, nobody does. but i wasted it all, i threw it away for the lie. it was my dream, not yours, but i dont mind. i will always want it, but i know my truth.
you were never good for me, & i think i hate you.