"the way i see it, the evil people of the world, the monsters, they see people as candles. they find the people burning brightest and try to snuff them out. you did nothing that made them target you except be happy."
Flynn is far from normal. She's...
i feel like i'm floating. i close the pill bottle. it helps me, but i can't explain how. it's like i'm floating in my own little bubble and i'm numb to the rest of the world.
my baby girl, zaia, rests her snout on my lap and i pet her fluffy black fur gently. she's a newfoundland puppy and the only thing that keeps me going.
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pulling down my hoodie sleeve to make sure it covers my fresh cut marks, i hook on zaia's leash.
the only reason i left the house was because my mother bought me tickets to a twenty øne pilots concert. although i love her so much, zaia can't go with me so she's staying with my friend (the only one i have) gray from the support group i was legally required to go to. it's part of the s.a.s or sexual assault survivors program, designed for people who have been repeatedly sexually assaulted in their life. all they do is ask you how your holding up. i'm fine yes i am feeling better than last time no I have not been self harming yes i have been taking my meds boring, right?
by the time i got there, it was already dark. i stood for a while wondering when it was going to start when i heard some familiar lyrics
the crowd erupted into a roar of applause as tyler walked out. when the song finished, josh stood up, microphone in hand. "thank you everybody. tonight we're going to be doing something different. i'm going to walk around the audience and ask random questions." as he was talking, i could have sworn he grinned at me no, imentally chided myself, justbecauseyoucravetheattentionofeverymanyouseedoesn'tmeanthey'regivingittoyou. he jumped off the stage and walked with purpose and intent towards a specific person oh god... hewaswalkingtowardsme.. "i'm going to call you... pretty girl with cool hair." he said, referring to my pastel pink and pastel blue hair.
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(AN: this isn't actually what Flynn looks like, just the hair)
"so, pretty girl with cool hair, what's a secret talent you have that no one knows about?" i thought about it for a second "uh- i..i guess i can sing okay?"
somehow, i ended up being invited on stage to sing. i tried to say no, thinking of my anxiety and huge stage freight, but he insisted, so i decided to sing one of my all time favorite songs.
as i finished the song, i could see, as if though a dirty pane of glass, josh and tyler approaching me to compliment me. all i could see in front of me, instead of shapes, were seas of colors swimming together, trying but not being able to form masses. josh put his hand on my shoulder, probably to ask me if i was okay, but i couldn't hear anything over the uneven beating of my own heart. before i could take another breath in, i collapsed.
"will she be okay?" i heard a distinctly familiar male voice ask. "yes. she fainted partially from an anxiety attack and partially from blood loss." the woman I assumed was the nurse said. "blood loss?" the worry in the mans voice was evident. "yes, see, she has fresh cut marks on her wrists." at that i sat up and groaned, loud enough to get the attention of my nurse and... josh dun "hi pretty girl with cool hair. how're you feeling?" i smiled faintly. "like I got ran over by a bus. so superstar band members visit fainting fans in their free time?" he smiled sheepishly. "only the pretty ones. by the way, we called your mother and she's on her way."
as i was walking to my mom's car with zaia, i felt a hand on my shoulder, which made me jump and zaia start barking at whoever just stopped me. as I turned I realized it was josh and gently spoke to my wild dog. "zai, it's okay. he's a friend." josh grinned and reached down to pet her. "oh i wouldn't if I were you. she isn't good with stran..." i cut off as she cuddled into his hand. "you are a strange person joshua dun. she'll usually run away from strangers." he smiled this cute little quicksilver smile. "must be because i'm such a likable person. anyways, i wanted to apologize and give you my number because you seem like a cool girl." my mind was racing a million miles a minute. joshfuckingdun thinks i'm cool? "apologize for what?" "i made you go up on stage and i made you sing and.. i made you pass out in front of three thousand people." despite everything, i giggled. "i'm fine now right? so it doesn't matter. anyways i've got to go, nice meeting you." he slips a napkin, probably with his number on it, into my hoodie pocket. i take a sharpie and write my number before walking away. i got into my mother's car with one thought in my mind....
