"Have you told him yet?"
"No."
"Why not?" Mom interrogated me as she washed dishes.
I shrugged. "He hasn't been at school lately." That was a lie.
"He's been gone for the past three weeks?" She questioned suspiciously.
I sighed. "ha it really been that long since I went to the doctor?"
Mom nodded. "Madison, you really need to tell him. I understand how scary it can be but he's your boyfriend. You shouldn't be keeping this from him."
That was a lie too. He's not my boyfriend. He's just a friend that got me pregnant.
"Mom." I was quieter. "What if I told you that James and I... broke up?"
"You broke up?" Mom dropped a plastic cup on top of some other dishes and it made a loud sound. "How long ago? What happened?"
I pursed my lips together for a moment. "Well, when I told you we were together, I meant that we slept together. It was just that one time, though." That's another lie. "I thought you would understand what I meant and then I've been so nervous, I just didn't know how to tell you."
Mom put down the dish she was washing, dried her hands, and ran over to hug me. "Honey, I don't want you to feel like you have to hide things from me or be nervous to tell me things. I already know the things you've done." She rubbed my little tummy. "Please be as honest as you can with me. I just want the best for you and to help you."
"OK." I agreed, a little annoyed.
"But I still want you to tell James as soon as possible." She ruined the moment. "In fact, you most definitely have to tell him as soon as possible... or else I will."
I shook my head furiously as she smiled while going back to wash dishes. "No, Mom, please! I'm just waiting for the right time. He's been spending a lot of time with other girls and I don't want to seem clingy or weird or bothered. I have to wait for the perfect moment when he's alone."
"Calm down, calm down." Mom shushed me. "Just tell him after class that you want to talk or something. Go with him alone somewhere and tell him. It won't be that bad."
"Alright." I sighed again.
Mom knew little about James. We've been friends for a while- liking each other on and off. Nothing's happened relationship wise between us though. We've hooked up a lot. It's tough, though, because I have to pretend that I'm over him, especially around my friends. They think James and I are just ordinary friends. Plus, despite him being somewhat of a player, my best friend Hannah has a crush on him. It's incredibly complicated.
You might think I'm stupid not to tell him I'm pregnant. But I've got a few good reasons- well, good in my mind. He's a trouble maker. He drinks and smokes and enjoys trouble. I'm scared that this might anger him and push him over the edge. He's also got a ton of other girls he talks to or messes around with. I'm nervous that he'll leave me and our child for one of them. I've also been hiding this for almost four months. Three weeks ago, when my mom forced me to the doctor, was when the truth came out. He'll probably think I'm lying or trying to trick him into staying with me just because of the baby.
I have always been nervous about pregnancy because it's a different, somewhat scary thing. It's never crossed my mind that I should also be worried about the baby's father until now.
