My Love

Ch.2

"So," Justin began, "how've you been lately? Anyone giving you trouble?"
"Oh, n-no," Emanuel stammered, "not at all, Justin . Everything's been going well, and, um...." He blushed. "I missed you... that's all."
Justin let his hand fall across Emanuel 's back, muttering quickly as if almost embarrassed, "Yeah, I missed you too." Emanuel was silent in response, only leaning toward Justin 's warmth. "You're a good person. You know?"
"Why do you say that all of a sudden...?" he murmured. "I'm not that especially good."
"I figured you should know." Justin glanced at him before placing his hands behind his head. "Hanging out with a rascal like me hasn't changed you a bit."
"You shouldn't say that about yourself," Emanuel whispered. "You're not a rascal. Just strong of spirit."
Justin laughed at himself and looked up into the sky, dropping his arms and thinking about all the things that had been said of him, and the stumbling blocks that still kept them apart, and the simple feeling that he was corrupting something pure whenever he hung around Emanuel . "Not really. But if you say so."
Emanuel slipped his soft hand into his. With a little smile, he stated, "You're so good to me, Justin . I can never tell you enough how much you mean to me." Justin held his hand and thought to himself that that was enough -- that if he meant something good to this one person, nothing the rest of the world said mattered. After a few moments, they found themselves walking down the beach again. Something was bothering Justin , although Justin didn't want to admit it. He didn't want to burden Emanuel with it anyway -- he was supposed to be the stronger one! Still, his principles, until lately held dear, wouldn't leave him alone.
All the same, Emanuel seemed to notice. He looked at Justin cautiously for a moment before murmuring, "Justin ? Is... something wrong?"
"Emanuel ... it's..."
And at that moment everything came together, all of the magic and the hurt that had been building that day, and he locked his crystals with his and whispered, "You can tell me."
It was like a floodgate burst, or some barrier of fear had been struck down. Justin shook his head and everything came out at once. "It's just... this isn't right, Emanuel . I love you... truly, I do. But I shouldn't be with someone like this. It's, it's not what I was taught, heh -- no. What I believe. I don't mean to hurt you. I know it burns. It burns, for me too. That's... that's why I won't leave you. But still, I feel such guilt...." Emanuel listened silently and solemnly. At last, when all the words had left Justin and he was at a loss for words, Emanuel reached out to him and took a deep breath to whisper back, "Justin ... I... I don't know what it's like, to live with your principles, until lately held dear,... but... I'm sorry, Justin . I wish... I wish I could help." Justin 's eyes began to burn, and he abruptly pulled Emanuel into a fierce embrace. Emanuel 's windows to his soul widened at first, but then he too felt overwhelmed by emotion and succumbed to the warmth of Justin 's touch.
"You," Justin whispered, his breath hot on Emanuel 's ear. "As long as you're here, I'll be all right."
"Justin ..." Emanuel laid a hand on Justin 's shoulder, pushing him lightly so that they parted enough to look each other in the eye. "The truth is, I... feel the same way about you."
Justin tilted his head forward, pressing their foreheads together, and whispered, "What is it, Emanuel ? Have you... been in pain, too?"
"Justin , it's..." Emanuel took a shuddering breath and whispered, "I keep thinking about her. You know, we... were together, in our own way.... I didn't want to talk about her all the time with you, Justin . I want you to know... it's not the same. But, no matter what... when I think about her, it hurts, Justin . She... isn't someone I'm going to forget."
Justin placed his hands on Emanuel 's cheeks, stroking his cheekbone as he soothed, "Emanuel ... it's terrible that that happened to you. Emanuel , I just want you to remember, I love you." They held each other as tears trickled down cheeks and dripped onto the shifting sands to be carried away into the sea. With time and soothing embraces, their pain dissipated into a mist swept out by the ocean breeze and into the setting sun.