Spock/Kirk Fluff

What to Say

(Spock's POV)
So many years. Bones had been a doctor for so many years. Humans had been studying the medical field for so many years. So why couldn't Bones tell me if he would live? Why, as I sat there,  staring at Jim in his comatose state, why couldn't I know for sure that he would wake up?
I watch as Bones left the room, closing the door behind him.
"I suppose I'm supposed to talk to you, aren't I? It is highly illogical to assume you can hear me. You see when someone is in a comatose state... I think the doctors tell us to speak to you only to make ourselves feel better. I doubt it benefits you in any way. I don't talk very often Jim, you know that, but I'll talk to you now. Just in the slim chance it helps."
I needed to say it, I knew I did, all the pain and confusion that had been slowly building up inside me, I couldn't hold it in any longer. This way, I could tell him, I could tell him about his laugh, how even just his voice makes me want to smile. And whenever his hazel eyes look at me I can feel a flush run through my face, and how... but when he wakes up... he won't know. If I could tell him, then it will be off my chest, and I won't have to think about it. If I tell him, and can go back to my Vulcan state of mind and he will never know.
Tears begin to run down my face and I sink my head into my hands, trying to wipe them away.
"Jim..." I said, praying that Bones would not walk in and see me in this state. "Jim...the reason I wanted to transfer," I was choking on my own tears, "is because I just don't know what to do! My whole life I relied on my logic and brain and... and lately... I can't around you. Jim... I've tried so hard to not feel this way for you... I can't unless I tell you. I... I-I l-love you... I love you so much... I love your smile and laugh, and your eyes and love the way you look at me with them... it's all so confusing and sometimes I love you so much... it feels like there's a weight on my chest!"
The more I said, the more painful it was, the more real it was. As I listed all these things it's like I kept finding more, and all I could think about was him in all his perfectness. And the fact that he was laying before me in a sleep like death.

***(Ahhh! Please comment, this is my first Spock/Kirk fanfic! I'll be uploading soon!)****