Schizophrenia || au

Twenty Six

(Harry's P.O.V)

You know we all fight demons. Whether they be demons from the devil, or simply the demons from mental illness. Rose, herself had to face a lot of demons. Ones that were without a doubt from Satan himself, and others weren't demons per say, they were just simply her mental disorder. Rose, herself, did not know what she had, nor did she ever talk about it to me. But I knew, I knew what she had, and what it was. Frankly that pulled me in more, it was intriguing, really. She struggled with Schizophrenia, though she didn't know it. I assumed that with the murder of her mother, and suicide of her father opened up that opportunity for the illness to sink into her brain. For some people the symptoms are utterly noticeable, then for the rest no one but a help professional would notice. That's what I was, I was specially trained for the mental health for 'insane' people. I was a psychiatrist, that's what I went to school for.

It saddened me really when I had to face the facts the Rose's mental state wasn't where it was suppose to be. To any person on the street, she would appear utterly normal, and ever to people that she lived with. None of them could tell, oh but I could. I watched everyday as her mental state would gain up, the decline. She would never get to the point where she would have to be hospitalized, but fight with her demons in her head would only get worse, and worse without treatment. This also scared me, because Rose didn't just have irregular demons, she had ones that were casted in her from hell. Those were the ones that fought in her head with the other ones, but telling her she wasn't good enough. Both emotional scaring her, but with one she could get help, but the others would stay there forever. She herself would have to fight less, but there was no saying how strong they could actually get.

I watched her as she slept, I could hear her demons loudly. They would stop messing with her brain. While her body was asleep, her mind was well aware of what they were saying to her, and so was I. They often were the reasons why she would have bad dreams flashing back to when her father killed her mother, when Kevin almost killed her, when she left, when I left, or when her father killed himself. The dreams weren't actually the reason to why she would wake up scream some nights, it was the voices in her head stirring them back up. It made me angry, and maybe it drove me a little insane myself.

I didn't really have to ask why she had cut herself, I knew it was some what my fault for not speaking to her, but the most of it was the demons. She wouldn't admit to hearing the voices, she would only to refer to them as her demons. She would blame herself, because she left, and that's why she cut. When in fact that was quite far away from the true answer. I had realized from my schooling that the only reason a person ever really cut was because of the voices in their head, or just simply trying to do it for attention. But once somebody did start, even after the demons were gone, and they were practically happy, they wouldn't stop. Simply because self harming is basically an addition. While I was also a sense of a drug for her, and she was hooked on me, she was also hooked on harming herself because of the demons. And with then still there, and not going away, she could never fully stop. She might say she has, but the demons will come back, sometimes do to something that set the hosts off, or just because they come back. To the human mind that could never exactly grasp which one it was, they sometimes treated them for something they did not have. But for me, I can tell which is which. Whether it be from the disorder, or from hell. And now, they were both there, and I could hear every word they were speaking to her.

I knew it would only be moments before her body shot up, screaming. Tears would stream down her face, cover her ears thinking they were actually speaking to her. She wouldn't grasp that they were in her head, and it would take me soothing her to clam her down. This could be only a few minutes, or an hour. It depended on how bad they striking her, and now I could tell, it was going to be horrible. And just like I predicted her body shot up, and she started scream, and crying, and holding her ears. I walked over to the bed, and sat in front of her. I grabbed her wrist, and held them with my hands. She struggled to try, and get away from me screaming louder as she realized she couldn't move.

"Rose please love, it was only dream. You need to clam down. I'm right here." I sooth as she screamed out my name "Please doll, listen to me, drowned them out. Drowned the voices out. Looked at me, listen to my voice. Focus on my voice. Not theirs, focus on mine."

"YOU DONT UNDERSTAND, THEY'RE COMING TO GET ME." She screamed, and with that the door flew open and my eyes met Louis

"Harry, what the hell is going on?" Louis asked

"Louis, just hold her here for me." I pleaded, and obeyed holding her down

I grabbed a mild tranquilizer shot from my bedside table drawer. I walked back over to her, and stuck the shot into her arm. Within seconds her body slowed down, and her body became limo, and numb. Her eyes closed, and Louis stood up. I picked up her limp body, and placed her back underneath the covers. I had done this every night in the start of relationship, and she wouldn't remember a thing, which was good, because if she did, she would become sad, and it just wasn't something that easily explained to her. The bad thing was, that she would forget everything that happened the night before. She wouldn't forget her mental state, such as forgiving me, but she would forget the physical things, like our sex we had that night, and our bodies even actually ever coming in contact with each other recently. She would think it was just a dream, if that.

"Harry, would you like to explain what the hell just occurred there?" Louis asked concerned

"Louis, we all can read peoples mind, right?" I asked him

"Yeah."

"Well did you ever notice that how when you read Rose's mind it was like you were reading ten other peoples, making attempts on hurting her mentally, or telling her to harm herself physically?" I asked

"Yeah, but I thought my senses were screwing up, and I was reading ten other peoples that were I though obsessed with harming her. It actually bugged me a lot actually, because I wanted to find the people, and kill them for thinking about hurting her like that." He explained

"Well remember how I went to school like three years before I got turned?" I asked

"Yeah, I remember because you were going in like a field that required a lot of schooling."

"Yeah, well after I became what I was, I rebelled from The Masters, and finished getting my degree."

"Well what does this have to do with Rose?" He asked

"Well I went to school to become a psychiatrist. Which means I know a lot about mental disorders, and the mind. When I first met Rose I felt something off about her, and when we moved in together I finally realized what it was."

"Well?" He asked

"She's a schizophrenic. She has schizophrenia. Which basically means she has voices in her head that tell her basically a false reality about people, that's why it took her so long to fully trust any of us." I told him

"Well can't that be treated?"

"Yes it can, and I could also prescribe a medicine to her that would stop them, but I can't stop the other ones."

"Where did the other ones come from? Another mental illness?" He asked

"No, from hell."

"Wait, what? Harry, how do you know?"

"I can tell the difference between the two." I quietly spoke back

"Harry, you know you have to get rid of them, or that will push her to death. You watched it with Liam's girl."

"I know, but I just can't."

"Do you want her to kill herself? Do you want her to be gone, forever?" He asked me

"No." I snapped

"Then you have to change her."