Let it go... It's time

Keeping in Touch... Friendship

2010

My friend broke up with him... he was destroyed.

He told me how much he loved her and how much it hurted him that she broke up with him, that he would never date another girl anymore or he will be the bad guy this time and hurt them.

I just thought, this was my fault. I did tell him everthing about our date and how much I wanted to hold his hand, so it is when he told me that he wanted to do it but he was too scared cause I was so shy and I could take it in bad way, we both ruined it what would have happend if we had done differently, he wouldnt be hurt now and I could have been his girlfriend. I told him about the other guy, bad decision, well I had to be sincere with him if we are in a friendship.

I was at college, he came regurlarly to see me at school, people always said he was my boyfriend but always tell them that he was my friend, I couldn't help it everytime I saw him, my cheeks were red like tomatoe, my heart race like the speed of light and my smile was always big. He wasnt coming just because of me, he had a friend in the other faculty who was his free at that time.

We talked and told him I was growing feelings for him again so he clearly said that he was a bad guy and he prefered to be friend with me cause he didn'want to hurt me this time.

He dated that girl and by 2012 I dated my best friend from college. After that we didn't send many message as before, we talked as just friend who know from somewhere but any information about liked each other was link anymore.

2013, I broke up with my boyfriend. I told him after a few months cause he was alwas telling me, and your boyfriend. So I decided to tell him when I was in my exchange program. we  just say hi and good and ok every 4 or 5 months. We were acquaintance.

2014, I came back from my exchange program, he asked me to go out with him to tell him what I have done, which plans I had. I saw him after all this year. My feelings everytime I saw him never changes... I hugged like never did before. Why I can't stop being attached on him... what it is him to me?, he is like an addictive poison. We didnt see each other until next year.

2015, We went to drink a tea, he was quite taller not that much but I feel he looks more handsome, it would be great if I had a boyfriend like him, I did have another plans with my friend that day. Why I didn't change plans and tell them I had an emergency, he went with me but why I felt like it was a good bye and our last opportunity. I was sure that day... if I would have keep that day until the end with him I would have kissed him.

2016, He dated someone at the end of 2015. he send me a message that he liked my picture, he started to send me private message, I decided to follow his game with a song prank. I wasn't that kind of girl, what he thinks I'm.. He had girlfriend right.. or may be they broke up thats why he is doing this, That were my thoughts. So I stopped him and told him about the prank song about he had a girlfriend he just said, you ruined it. I couldn't help it more. I told him everything about all the connection I feel everytime we see each other, I knew that he can feel something for me and I do too. He didn't say anything. Next day I met him by coincidence at this store. Why !! why always me! why always him!! he was in my destiny or what!! there's always a spark... like if you use a lighter it will turn on. ¨I liked him...I still liked him all this time. I'm still waiting for him, why I can't date anyone yet. Today I will find someone¨ .