Twice Burned

Quinn

Leaving the room once again, it felt like pure agony and utter joy at the same time. Nathan was alive, he was going to be okay. But Zoe had barely forgiven me, and I felt as though she never fully would. 

Emotions I didn't understand flooded over me, a weave of guilt, anger, sadness, and exhilaration covering my body. I held my arms like I was cold and leaned against the wall near Zoe and Nathan's hospital room, then slowly sank down to the floor. The hallways were deserted, just like I had ordered, but now it felt lonely and daunting, knowing there were cameras on me to make sure I was safe. I didn't care about me anymore, I cared about Zoe, about Nathan, like nothing else made sense if it were about anything more.

Tears began to fall again. I still felt the ghosts of Nathan's skin against mine when he woke up. I still felt the burns on my neck from Zoe's hands. I felt the light touch of Nathan's kiss on my head. I felt the harsh heat of Zoe's pain-filled eyes staring at me through fire. Everything was overwhelming, and I began to shake.

I heard something from the halls and looked up from the floor to see the doors swinging open and shut. A woman was walking towards me, but I couldn't see her face through the blurry tears in my eyes. She wore a long blue slip gown, with her blonde hair raining over one shoulder. She wasn't flying, which I didn't understand, because she was over 100 feet away from me. Quickly I stood up and wiped the tears from my eyes, returning to my strong composure as Queen.

"Quinn," I heard come from her, and I recognized her voice.

"Mother," I replied, seeing that it was her. Now that I could notice, she had her gold-leafed tiara on her head, showing her to be royal, but not in power. That's when I realized I didn't have my own crown on my head, embarrassed to stand in front of her with no dignity or power to equalize me to her. 

"Mother, what do you need? Whatever it is, you'll have it." I said, holding my hands behind my back to keep them from shaking. She didn't say anything as she came closer, so I repeated, "Mother, do you need anything-"

Before I could finish, she came close to me and grabbed my shoulders, holding me to her chest. I felt her hands wrap around my body and she held me in a way I forgot she always used to. I felt her head rest on my shoulder and she held me tight. When my stunned expression wore off, slowly I began to wrap my own arms around her too. 

Something within a touch of a person makes all walls you think you have built come crashing down. You think you are stronger than anything else, nothing will make you break, but within that touch of another person comes something stronger than words. It's like a battering ram to a haystack, and everything falls down.

Tears came once again, and I felt my shoulders heave. Even from the dead, I could still feel Robin's painful pendant around my neck as I cried, and it hurt to breath. I felt my mother put her hand on my head, holding me like a child with an ill tummy.

"I'm sorry, Mom!" I cried into her sleeve. "I'm so so sorry."

My voice cracked as I said this, but my mother did not move her hand from around my waist. Instead she shushed me and petted my hair, just like she used to so many years ago. I couldn't remember the last time I was comforted by my own parents, but now that I had it, I never wanted it to leave again.

"Shh." My mother cooed to me. "Don't speak quite yet."

"But it's all my fault! It's all my fault!" I cried into her shoulder. "Father's death, your agony, the pain I put through Nathan and Zoe, it's all my fault, it's all my fault!"

Without warning, my mother yanked herself away far enough to see me in the face without letting her hands move from my arms. I was surprised at the look of anger and disappointment in her eyes, and slowly wiped away my tears, trying to clean myself up.

"Who did this to you?" She demanded.

"I did..." I suggested, but my mother shook my body once and asked again.

"Who did this to you?"

"Robin." I replied, hearing my voice quiver.

"Queen Quinn of Fluttershy, I never, ever, want to hear you say that this was all your fault again, do you hear me young lady?"

"But it was, Mother-"

"What did I just tell you?" My mother shook me again. "As far as I'm concerned, you did not cause your father's death. You did not cause Robin to go after everyone, to go after you. None of this is your fault. Robin's control is lifted from your chest, so don't let her control you any longer. Don't let her have the satisfaction of making you feel like this was all because of you. She was a demon from the deep to test your strength and loyalties. Now, who is alive because of you?"

"Nathan and Zoe." I sniffed.

"Nathan and Zoe," my mother repeated, nodding her head, "They are just beyond those doors there, and because of you, Zoe now has a father again. Because of you, you saved two lives and built a  relationship from ashes of long ago fire. You did this, Quinn, this is your fault, not what Robin did to you."

There was a long pause of silence after my mother finished, before she sighed and brought me closer to her again. I rested my cheek against her body and held her too, my tears beginning to dry.

"Thank you, Mother." I whispered a long time after. 

I didn't hear a response, only a slow and heavy sigh. Her arms tightened around me like she was trying to protect me as well, and as I held her, I found my other hand and felt the bracelet around my wrist. With a small prick, I felt the sharp edges of the teacup glass, forever a reminder of who I was.

I am a beautiful being of light, whose storm is like no other.