Heaviness

5.6K 191 26
                                    

"Depression is like a heaviness that you can't ever escape. It crushes down on you, making even the smallest things like tying your shoes or chewing on toast seem like a twenty-mile hike uphill. Depression is a part of you; it's in your bones and your blood."
― Jasmine Warga, My Heart and Other Black Holes

———————————————————————-
I woke up to a soft kick to my side and smiled when I saw Kele cuddling into me. I grabbed my glasses off the nightstand and looked around my dark room. 4:16am. I got out of bed and put on a light blue sweatshirt and black jeans.

I walked downstairs and started making breakfast. The front door opened and closed. I ignored it and continued making eggs and toast.

I felt a mans hand on my waist and winced. I've learned to act like it's not happening. He pushed his body against mine and a tear started falling down my cheek.

"Good morning Ben." He said and leaned down to kiss my neck. "It's been a while." His hands wandered my torso and I felt sick. The smell of drugs surrounded me

"Please not again." I whimpered. The smell of burning toast snapped me back to reality and I tried to move to get the bread out of the toaster.

"You're more fun then your mom." He said and took my ear between his teeth. I got out of his grip and got the toast out. I made 3 plates and handed one to the man before going to my brothers room.

I opened Jake's door and he looked up at me. I looked down at his bleeding wrists and put the food on his dresser before locking his door.

"Mom has her 'friend' over so when I leave, you need to lock your door behind me." I said while I wrapped his wrist in an ace bandage. "I know I don't have any place to tell you that you should stop but please stop." I mumbled to him.

"I know. I'm sorry I just feel stuck." He said and I hugged him. I know. We all do.

"I'm sorry Jake. I get it, but you can always talk to me. I'm always here for you." I said and he nodded. "I'm gonna go bring mom her food. Will you be okay on your own?" He nodded and I smiled. "Don't forget to lock the door." I said and left the room. I waited until I heard the lock turn and went back to the kitchen.

"Back for more?" The man said and I shook my head. I grabbed the other plate but he stopped me before I could leave the room. "I love when you play hard to get baby." His voice made my body tremble. "We'll just have to wait until tonight to finish this. I'll see you after work." He turned me around and kissed me roughly.

I walked away quickly. My entire body was shaking. I hated him. I knocked on my moms door and heard no answer. I walked in and saw her sleeping I put her food on the dresser and left quickly.

I went back to my room and put on my converse and grabbed the leash and my book bag with a book and a tennis ball. I grabbed Kele's food and bowl from my backpack and sat on the floor.

I filled the bowl to see if she'd eat here. She ate quickly and a lot. "Good job sweetie!" I said in a sweet voice

Kele got excited by my sweet talk and jumped up to kiss me. I put her leash on and we walked out of the house.

We started our walk and it calmed me down. I always loved walking. I took Kele to the park and let her off the leash. She stayed next to me and we walked for about 2 hours. I sat down at a picnic table and Kele jumped on top of it.

I pulled out my book and started reading. I felt a tap on my shoulder and I tried to ignore it.

"Hello?" A boy said from behind me. I felt my heart start racing and turned to look at the guy.

Please Don't Leave. (Boy x Boy)Where stories live. Discover now