Mercy

Chapter 31

When I woke up the room was dark and the only small amount of light poured in from the window. The voices from downstairs boomed as another argument began to fester between my parents. The drugs made my mom numb to everything around her and they made my father extremely violent. The mix of the two always led to a blow out and sadly ended on it all being taken out on me. I snuggled deep under the blankets as I tried to block all the noises out. There was another angry voice, one that I did not recognize.

THUMP, THUMP, THUMP

My heart sank into my stomach as I heard the pounding footsteps now climbing the stairs. “Please no…” I begged as if someone could hear me plead with them. Suddenly the door came crashing open and I buried my face in the pillow. My whole-body trembling as the footsteps came closer to the edge of my bed. “Come now…” His thick voice made my stomach turn. Before I could do anything, I felt his fingers lace into my hair and jerked me from the safety of my bed. My body slammed against the floor and I screamed out in pain. He didn’t stop though – he continued to drag me across the floor by my hair, the pain searing into my skull. He yanked even harder as my body tumbled down the stair case. This is it – I thought to myself, this is where my life ends. There was so much I still wanted to do and this is how it all ends.

My scalp found instant relief as he flung my small body across the living room, leaving me sprawled out on the floor. My mouth was dry as I breathlessly begged him not to hurt me anymore. His cold laugh sent chills through my body as he straddled my waist and pinned me to the ground underneath him. Trying to block him out I squeezed my eyes closed. I could feel his hand grip tightly around my throat, squeezing the breath right out of me. My eyes shot open and I was face to face with my attacker. He was so close I could feel his hot breath on my face.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

My alarm pulled me away from my nightmare. The dreams were back and they were more vivid than ever. I could almost feel the traces of the man’s breath still on my face. Those memories were fresh in my mind like they had happened just yesterday. There was a nauseous feeling still lingering in my stomach as I dragged my feet to the bathroom and splashed cool water onto my hot cheeks. The stress of going back to school is probably what caused the dream, I told myself trying to pretend the dilemma with Liam. I didn’t want to go back but I knew if I didn’t I would end up flunking out of some of my classes. I had missed enough school already and I had a lot of catching up to do.

There were things in life that I couldn’t just put on hold and school was one of them. Trying my best not to think about the difficulty I was going to have getting through the day, I tugged a hoodie up over my body, pulling the hood up in hopes it would help hide the still visible scrapes and bruises on my face. I tugged on a pair of tights and my chucks before grabbing my bag and heading out the door.

As I approached my first class of the day I could feel the stares from people around me. I am sure that word had spread around campus about the incident. Their whispers could be heard as I passed; I hugged my body tightly as I headed into my first class and sat in the back of the room. My stomach turned leaving me queasy for the rest of the class.

The rest of the day went about the same, I hid behind my sunglasses and hoodie and stuck to taking notes and trying to figure out what all I had missed. I was so caught up in my school work I hadn’t even realized I hadn’t brought my phone with me until I went looking for it to check the time after my last class. Not only was today my first day back at school but it was also my first day back to work. I knew that I would have to walk home in the dark after work so there was no way I should do that without my phone. There was a little time before my shift started so I hurried home to grab my phone. Lacy was sitting on the couch when I came in, a book laid out on her lap. “Hey bitch.” She cheerfully called without looking up at me. “Hey.” I chuckled as I picked my phone up from the kitchen counter and checked over my messages. “Hey Lacy…” I started as I made my way over to the couch. I felt like I needed to talk about what Liam told me and Lacy was the only person I had to talk to. “Yeah what’s up?” She pushed the book onto the coffee table, giving me her full attention. There wasn’t an easy way to start this conversation so I just jumped right in, “So Liam told me some pretty big information the other day…” Lacy nodded slowly, “He told you about their work, didn’t he?” My jaw dropped as I looked at her, “Wait you knew?” She sighed softly and leaned back onto the couch. “Well yeah I knew. My brother and boyfriend work with Liam how could I not know?” I was so shocked by the way it was no big deal to everyone. Am I over reacting? “Wait, if you knew why didn’t you tell me?” I could see on Lacy’s face that she was struggling on how to answer my question. After she thought for a minute she patted the seat beside her on the couch. I sank down into the seat, turning to face her so that I could focus on what she had to say. “Sam, there are a few reasons I didn’t say anything. One reason is because it’s not really something you go around talking about. The guys are pretty good at keeping work separated from their private lives. It’s not something I think about a lot to be honest. At first, I didn’t see the point in saying anything because it didn’t really matter. Then when you and Liam started getting closer I asked him if you knew. He asked me not to tell you because he didn’t want to mess things up with you. He said he was going to tell you soon but he just didn’t know how. I know it’s hard to believe but he really cares about you Sam. He has been moping around his house since you all had your fight.” I was quiet for a few minutes as I absorbed all she had to say. “Oh Sam, I know their work is not ideal but that doesn’t change who they are.” She was sort of right in a way, although it did change the way I looked at them there was still those moments that still made me smile.

“Lacy, do you think you could pick me up from work and give me a ride to their house? I think I need to talk to him.” She smiled and gave me a nod.

My mind went crazy during my whole shift trying to work through everything I had been told and everything I felt like I needed to express to Liam. I knew I was going to have to tell him a little about my past for him to understand why this is so difficult for me. My feelings for him were so intense it made things so hard. Before I knew it my shift had ended and Lacy was waiting out front In her car. As I climb in I could feel the anxiety building up inside of me, causing my stomach to swirl and my head started to pound. Part of me wanted to change my mind and just go home but the part of me that couldn’t let go of him persisted. Lacy didn’t say much other than a little small talk here and there. I was a little shocked when we pulled up outside and there was a full-blown party going on. My eyes made contact with Lacy’s and she smiled as if giving me some comfort. “Come on.” She said as she climbed out of the car and I trailed behind her.

I took a deep breath as we entered the house and began making our way through the crowds of drunk students. Lacy held my hand tightly so that we didn’t get separated as we pushed through the groups of people. We finally made it to the kitchen and her face lit up when she saw Alex. “Wait right here I’ll find out where Liam is.” She gave me a quick hug and headed over to Alex. I smiled to myself as I watched them interact with each other. They argued all the time but it was like they were perfect for each other. Lacy gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before making her way back over to me. “He said that Liam is outside by the bonfire. I’ll be in here if you need me okay?” She smiled giving me another quick hug. I nodded to her as I turned and made my way out to the back yard. This party was insane, even the back yard was packed full of people. My eyes scanned over the crowd stopping when they spotted him sitting by himself by the fire. He was slumped down in his seat, a beer resting on his knee as he stared into the flames in front of him. Seeing him look so down absolutely broke my heart. I don’t know why I thought I could stand being away from him. He was like my drug. My eyes stayed locked on him as I slowly walked his way. Now I stood only a couple feet away and I could see the sad look on his face. “Liam…” I whispered.