Chapter 1-Depression

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Hi,my names kristen. I am currently 15.I am going to tell you about my experiences with my father but before you think it's over it's not im only 15 and still have a lot of life ahead of me and i don't think this will ever end unless i get out of this place.Anyways i was maybe 5 and my dad always dressed me for school and always helped me with everything and anything same with my mom i was grateful for that and i cared so much about them,even though my dad was never there often.As i got older i started to realize how much of a creep he is.

I was maybe around 8-10 when my parents started fighting rlly bad and it scared me so much . I knew that what ever relationship that we ever had together was gone.At that time i was still outgoing.This sounds crazy cause i've never been outgoing , well atleast not now. I still got bullied on the daily and i didn't have any friends since i had lost all of them.When i got into middle school i had lost it all control of myself didn't know what i was doing with my life,still dont.I kept getting bullied everyday constantly just for looks and my weight, at that time i weighed around 85 pounds.I went into a deep depression.Nothing mattered to me anymore life,love,friends etc. everything was so bland to me i didn't care about grades so my grades went down a lot and i lost a lot of my friends because of it.One night i stayed up really late and decided to take a knife and put it against my skin.I had done it multiple times and i kept covering my arm for the longest time.It came to the point were i had did it on both of my arms and it only got worse everyday.8th grade i dated a guy who knew i had did that and he wanted me to stop everything i was doing.At that time i was happy cause i knew someone cared about me but then my friend had told me that she was talking to him and he said i was too clingy i instantly got back into depression then realized he wasn't good for me after maybe 5 days we broke up.I was depressed again.

I felt like nobody cared for me at this point and the only thing they were doing was using me to get to another person.In all of this i had my mom next me hand in hand in everything i did.She didn't know i was cutting or doing any of this but she was still there for me through all of my pain and suffering.I feel like when people look at me all they feel is hate and they don't like me but i soon realized that that's not the thing all they want is to be cool with you and just understand you.Im not in depression anymore.

As i had said i am currently 15 and turning 16 in November 18.I am ok now and over that stage but now i feel like a new thing is coming and i'm not ready for it.

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Hey guys i have been super un-active but i deeply sorry.I know your probably wondering were did this come from.I was actually thinking of writing this book for a long time now and i finally have the chance to so accept it lol 😂. I know your also wondering "is this about you?" no it isn't this is just a normal girl going through her stages and learning from her mistakes but anyways enough of me talking i hope you enjoy this chapter as well as the book.i your still reading this far vote and comment.

-M.
#depression

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