THE RANDOM UNIVERSES OF MY RANDOMNESS

OKAY IM SO SORRY BUT THIS HAD TO MAKE AN APPEARANCE I AM SO SORRY

WARNING: PROCEED WITH CAUTION AS IT CONTAINS HUGE AMOUNTS OF CRACK AND MILD SWEARS-ISH AND INAPROPRIATE THINGS IN THE LATER HALF (and all grammer mistakes were made intentionally since I'm copying it word for word, except for the swears)

(Tagging EmEmWolfie and Tsukina_29, and this will be continued in the comments :'3)

It was a beautiful, gorey, day. A dark silhouette could be seen holding a knife in the shadows, his grin widening as he thought sadistically. "Ahhhh... How nice would it be to be able to hear your screams of torture, your cries of mercy, your delicious blood flowing out of your veins... However, I'll just have to settle for this... *Crunch/Stabbing noises*

Blood dripped from the knife as the mysterious individual stared at their masterpiece with pride. Giggling maniacally, they moved on to the next... and stabbed them, doing their job quickly and swiftly, no matter hoe much they wanted to torture, as they had had a job to fufill, and they wouldn't let their master down.

He turned the gas on, and boiled the awfully-dangerous-looking-rainbow-solution and a sweet and bitter smell wafted from the pot and filled the air.

"Yes, with this, I will FRICKING DESTROY TRUMP forever and I alone shall be the ruler of the world," he whispered sardonically to his pet canary, which chirped diabolically in reply. The chicken suddenly came back to life and suddenly turned into pasta and then clucked its merry way home while its head hopped about madly trying to build a wall outta eggs. The man smirked as the chicken ( IQ not much changed since Trump and your average chicken had the same brainpower) stumbled away, and he stared, grinning, at the slightly decompsing bodies, the fetid scent of decompsing flesh filled the air as the pasta turned into cold feet and then did like kickass awesome ballet and tap dance and then suddenly sushi and anime appeared and became a thing and became sushi x anime and it was ♡ at first sight and they lived happily forever after but like the rest of the cutlery that were like in the chicken were like sobbing and then they suddenly melted to become metal chickens that were like pasta slime and laid correction tape eggs like woah :0. But even still, the man revelled inhis dominancy, as the world crashed around his feet... yet who cared-- all that mattered was HIM; his wealth,his power, his absolute rulership over space and time, and above all, HIMSELF. Andddd... his chicken and pasta :D It was then Master stepped into the 'torture chamber' and widened his eyes at the sight of the product. He patted the chef on the head and went on to inspect the dish, raising an eyebrow. 'Non, Non' he shaked his head, and took out a bubble of white fluid. As he poured it on the dish, the chicken (or pasta) grew taller. Covered in the continuously-flowing-fluid two crimson holes appeared and what seemed to be air was being sucked into the two mysterious holes and a faint 'ooOoOOO' could be heard. It was then two red eyes like the rubied and canines like a vampire, the vampire bat grinned and attacked his next victim. Soon, Master was lying on his floor and covered in... a pink dress for princesses and was on a pink bed with a BEAUTIFUL tiara and his face was overdone with makeup and a mustache with streamers and SPARKLY PINK PWETTY STICKY GLIMMERY glitter everywhere :) "Look what you've done! I look like a TWAT!" The Master wailed, tugging at the itchy pink polyester that chafed uncomfortably at his male parts, and brushing off his streamer- mustache irratably. " Now go, obey my commads, O Slave of mine that has come from the underworld!" The bat hissed and dove out of the window. "I WILL NEVER YIELD TO YOU BASTARD, SO VE. HA." And with that, the bat disappeared after doing a sharp dive so he could get a hotdog with a side o' chicken. "WHAT A BISH," the Master complained, stripping naked and grinding against a potato. The dead bodies smiled from the other side of the room, unblinkingly disturbingly cheerful.