Romance Cliches

Twins

Here comes trouble,
Make it double...

1.  We are siamese if you don't please...
I really don't get where this whole, 'twins do everything together' mentality comes from. I mean, i don't have a twin myself, but surely, surely, they do not stick to each other like fucking glue. And these are not young children we're talking about, it's like fully grown men in their twenties and thirties proper living with each other and going to the same job, teaching in the same bloody class and treating the same bloody patient! How the FUCK is that allowed? Oh yeah, instead of using our money responsibly and use the two doctors, teachers or therapists we got, separately- we're just gonna give one class in the whole school, or one patient, or one crazy bitch, TWO of them, because... you know, they're twins, innit?
I just feel like they're seriously taking the piss with this. I could try and believe a set of twins wanting to work in the same kind of business, like teaching or medicine. Heck, i could even try and sacrifice a couple hundred brain cells to believe that they magically got into the same school or hospital. But YOU want ME to believe that they are totally fine with giving TWO people, TWO NEW FUCKING RECRUITS, their own fucking class, or even a patient! You're really jumping the fence here author- it fucking boggles my mind on how anyone, any normal person, would just see this set up and not even give it a second glance!? Considering the girl MC is always described as a 'normal girl', you would maybeeee think that she would say something- but NOPE, all this horny bitch can do is waste time and my brain cells, waffling on about how broody and sexy the twins are.

2. Just their type.
Now, even though I HATE love triangles, I can understand two people falling in love with the same person. What I don't understand is twins falling in love with one person , WHEN THEY HAVE NO REASON TO!
Like none, at all! For starters, twins are never really introduced as separate characters in books like these. They are always like a package that just has two items, two people. It's just, Blake the sweetheart and Brody the bad boy. When they are introduced like that, so one dimensional, and together, they don't seem like real people- let alone people capable of feelings like love. They're just there solely  to either fight over the girl or display two sides of the same fucking relationship, since they will be the same fucking person! If you're going to go for this twin trope (God forbid), at least have the fucking decency and effort to make it believable that these two different people could fall in love with this one girl. Unless you're  saying they're only attracted to the girl physically, then that's another thing.

3. Here comes trouble.
Normal people struggle with just getting a one on one relationship to work, now talk about a fucking threesome! Especially if they're twin brothers! If there is anything in this world that siblings hate more than sharing toys or food- it would be sharing partners! Considering the fact that these twins are always magically rich ( like seriously, do they pull cash out of their arse?), why the fuck would they want to, or succeed at, sharing a girlfriend? Books of this sort, never ever show the difficulties of a relationship between three people and the jealousy between the brothers, or slight favouritism. You can fool me about a lot of things, I am a very gullible creature, but DO NOT tell me that this bitch loves both equally, and expect me to believe it. You can have a favourite parent, sibling or friend- you can definitely have a favourite boyfriend. ESPECIALLY, if one of them is a massive cock all the time, cough cough.

4. Salutations, brother
It's annoying to see brothers fighting over a girl, but it's even MORE annoying to see brothers get along all the time. For one, what brother addresses their as, brother? You guys do that in Murica, or what? Because I personally don't tend to call my loved ones by their respective relationship to me. That just makes the brotherhood really forced and unrealistic to me, you know that paired with the fact that they're sharing a girlfriend.
Then secondly, the fights are never plausible- if they happen at all. It's a fundamental rule to have hiccups or arguments in any relationship when writing it, it's even MORE fundamental when writing brothers or sisters. To have them fight over something just due to their clashing natures is interesting... if they hadn't lived with each other for their entire fucking childhood! Shit like that is only funny or interesting to read if the two fighting are newly introduced to each other, as it fleshes both characters out and sees how their personalities bounce off each other. But when it's brothers fighting because, oh one's funny and one's broody, it bores me. I've seen this cliche a million and one times and it pisses me off every time. Why is it necessary for the twins to be clashing natures anyways. I'm tired off that troupe too...

5.  Dual Nature
Like I've already stated, I DETEST this cliche. This little hack that authors use when writing twins or even just brothers. I get that you need something to differentiate them, but it's just not enough to say one is cheerful and the other is moody. Even though it's completely normal for siblings to be polar opposites, you've got to realise that it's not the ONLY thing that makes them separate entities. There has to be something more that makes them different. Don't be afraid of making them same character, cause I can assure you, reading the classic polar opposites is more grating. Instead:
1. Introduce your twins separately. Don't fall into the trap of making them both approach the girl at the same time, otherwise you're just fitting into the stereotypical, run of the mill twin story. Introducing them at different points allows the reader to recognize them as different people and not just a package.

2. Don't be afraid to make them have the same tendencies. Of course it's not fun to read the same personality in two people but having the tendencies is not the same as personality. If they're both moody, due to some kind of traumatic experience, make one more aggressive with his moodiness. He'll be the one who's always storming off, or exploding when the girl does something annoying. Then let the other one be moody too, but more quiet. Let him be the observer, more intuitive than his brother but still traumatized, and play those differences into how they react to the girl and bond with her.

3. Make two different relationships. One of the main reasons that these threesome relationships end up making the twins the same character is because they make it the same relationship between the girl and each twin. If they ARE different characters, they can't, using logic, be attracted to the girl in the same way and for the same reasons. If you have an innocent girl MC (yuck!) and your broody and nice twin, they both can't be attracted to her solely on the fact that they like her looks and like her innocent nature. What you can do is this- maybe the nice twin likes the MC due to her optimistic and generally joyful attitude, brought about by her innocent persona. While Mr broody likes her as he finds her non judgemental views on people, comforting and reassuring. Therefore, making two different relationships between three people who love each other, without making the twins seem exactly the same and the girl seem like a greedy bitch who's hogging two of the same hot guy for herself.

I'm proud of myself for this one, tbh.
I think I gave some strong advice for aspiring wattpad authors who maybe wanted to write a twin plotline.
And you know what the best part is?
I pulled most of this out of my arse!