The Orb Adventures

Welcome to the Orb.

Hi! Welcome to the Orb!

(To translate this page, please learn to speak English)

Greetings, hacker, computer enthusiast, person reeling from strange encounter with a weirdo who linked you to this site and just couldn't contain your curiosity, and apologies in advance for how much like a bad bank TV ad what you are about to read sounds like!

Welcome to the Orb.

If you are reading this page, you are a child. You are under eighteen. Anyone above that age has been extensively blocked from any contact with the Orb, the Orb Force, anything to do with us. People over eighteen, you see, are adults, and they have a great power to embody change, voice for the downtrodden, yadda-yadda-yadda...

But of course, no-one listens to us kids. Keep listening now, though, because you'll want to read this out...

The Orb is a field of pure, raw, regenerating energy contained generally within the Earth's atmosphere. It stretches all the way around, and through, our planet. Humanity, on record, hasn't yet discovered it, or found any source of detecting it, or any way to harness its power. And we, the Orb Force, would like to keep it that way.

Of course, we've “tapped” the Orb. You're “tapping” it now. “Tapping” the Orb is just tapping into its energy source. What you're also doing is “breaking” the Orb. That's what we call it when someone penetrates the security guarding it. Trust me, you're breaking it with our permission.

We're not ashamed to say we have some of the finest, most creative, original and intelligent minds on the face of the Earth up here, and all under eighteen. We have representatives from all over the world. Just think of us as one massive Facebook...

We use this technology to protect the planet. We've sewn up the hole in the ozone layer, and we've shorted out deforestation bases. We've actually done quite a bit of environmental protection work in the Earth's atmosphere, and recently we've been quite proud at establishing our very own moon base (we've already sent up several satellites and I think it's fair to say that whichever street you choose to walk down, we can see you. Hi) as well as other feats that show, undeniably, how resourceful, hard working and dedicated those pesky kids can be!

This message, then, is us extending a hand and saying “wanna give it a go?” Do you want to join us, and become an Orb member? It's tricky, and it's not for everyone. You'll probably miss some homework assignments. You'll need to pick up a few foreign languages and learn so many new skills. You'll meet with people your age and similar from all across the globe, and be warned, we don't take any form of prejudices or discriminations lightly. But if you want to join us, and stick with us, you can be a part of something far greater than you'd have ever believed, and all because you made it possible.

This is the chance of a lifetime. Your lifetime. And it's happening right now. It's not waiting until after college, or until after you're done with your Trigonometry assignment. If you think this is a hoax, then it's probably not for you anyway. Just click the little “x” and go back to normal. If you don't want to be a part of this, then you're going to have to go ahead and click the “x” too. But if you think you want to find out more, click the blue button below, and we'll send someone within half an hour.

Let me break it down for you: the Orb is just a bunch of hoodies, out to show the world that we can be pretty cool, actually. Of course, we need to keep quiet about it to prevent any global phenomena, races for unlimited power, all that jazz. So rest assured, if you tell anyone, not only will they not believe you, but also, we will find out and we have methods of modifying your perceptions of what exactly you saw on this message in the first place.

Congratulations on being part of a generation who aren't just out to scam old ladies, boil puppies and burn down hospitals, and who can also artfully juggle sarcasm with genuine responsibility... When, that is, we really have to.

Go on, rise to the occasion. I did, and I'm loving it so far!

If you don't believe me, this gig's not for you.

Yours slightly smugly,

Andy Daniels

Lead Representative of the Orb in UK airspace.