Basil Grey's Big Book of Basil, eh?

My Attempts at Hiding Out on Halloween, in Haiku Form

this halloween I
will turn the lights off and hide
down in the basement

just 'cause it's awkward
to let people know you're home
when you don't have treats

if ghosts knock at our
door, we won't hear them since we're
watching a movie

in fact, I'm turning
up the volume really loud
so we don't hear them

oh wait but then they
could hear us, never mind bad
idea turn it down

(okay give me the
remote, you're not finding the
button fast enough)

this is where we are,
if you're looking for us, you
can come watch it too

driven down the stairs,
lowkey hiding since we don't
really celebrate

popcorn, not candy
will be our night's snack, this last
night of october

(and hey—tomorrow
stores will begin discounting
their candy, whoohoo!)