Nightwish One- Shots

Why haven't I noticed? (Floorja)

There was no alarming point... No reason why she needed to do that... But she did it...

~***~

Against all clichés, this day was bright and beautiful. The sun shined and it was warm, a classic october day. But not everyone seemd to be happy that day. While everybody else enjoyed their last summerdays, Floor stood infront of a grave. A fresh made grave. Since hours she stood in front of it, reading the name on it over and over again...

~Tarja Soile Susanna Turunen Jansen~

Born  17. 08. 1977

Died 05. 11. 2017

It was chiseled in stone, but it felt so unreal, as if the letters would soon change into another name. But they didn't. Floor still couldn't belive what happened. Her mind was full of pain and misery, her heart was dark and empty. "Why, why Tarja?" She asked herself over and over again. Why has she done this? Tarjas suicide still seemed so unreal, like a nightmare. In her head she re-lived that horrorfying moment over again. 6 days ago she recived a voice mail from Tarja saying ,"I love you. Always remember that.", wich scared because it was so untypical for her, that she left the studio to look at after, but it was too late, Tarja already laid dead in their apartment.Floor started to hate herself. Why hasn't she noticed it earlier?

~***~

Everything started two years ago, as Tarja started to isolate herself from her friends. She broke up almost every friendship she had, also the one with her best friend Sharon, for no reason. She started to be alone all the time, but Floor thouht this strange behavior would vanish after a while. But instead of feeling better, Tarja started to cut herself, but not on her arms. On the inside of her arms, on her fingers, everywhere where Floor wouldn't noticed it. And Floor never noticed. After a year Tarja realised thats she needed help, but she was to afraid to ask, so she cutted five big, long scrapes on her left arm. Floor noticed it but instead of helping her she got furious. She screamed at her, and slapt her in the face. Floor was a strong woman, the hit left a red mark for a week. "You have no reason to do this!" , "You have everything you need so stop complaining!" ," You only bring shame over your family!", were the only things that came out of her mouth. Floor didn't understood that she tried to reach for help. Some weeks later Floor almost forgot about it but rememberd , as she noticed that there where no scars left on Tarjas arm. "I know how to cut myself without leaving scars" was the answer she recived, but she didn't pay any attencion to it. It was that day, Tarja decided that it were her own problems, and she didn't want to borther someone with it. She keept the pain as a secret, tried to swallow all the pain. But one day she had enough. She couln't go on anymore. She placed a pack of pills and a bottle of red wine on her desk...

~***~

Floor still stood at the gravejard with tears in the eyes....

"Why haven't i noticed?"