Okay guys, I am so sorry that it took me this long to update but I moved houses so I didn't have internet. I actually detest typng on my phone, stupid archaic devices. Anyway I hope yoou enjoy this chapter. XD
Cas' P.O.V
I shuddered awake. I was cold and I felt horribly alone and all I could think about was feeling Dean’s lips on mine, about him knowing I loved him as much as he loved me maybe more, of course more. But I knew he was mad with me so I wiped my eyes and sat up, trying to ignore how empty I felt, how alone I felt and how hopeless this whole situation was. Sam was right I was being stubborn and Dean had proven him right that ignoring what I felt for him was hurting Dean. I sighed getting up and pushing myself up the stairs and towards where Dean was sleeping because I was exhausted and I needed him to know I love him. I pushed the door open to see him sprawled across his bed messily his butt hanging in the air his face smushed against the pillows, I laughed quietly and sat on the edge of the bed pulling a pillow gently from under his head and stealing a blanket before laying them on the floor, he looked so peaceful I couldn’t wake him up, so I would sleep on the floor. I heard Dean groan and looked over to see him shivering as he shifted his position laying on his stomach and moved forward until he was breathing on my face, I tried to move back bumping into the dresser and crashing to the floor. I yelped and Dean jumped up in his bed “Who’s there?” He growled and looked down at the floor to see me rubbing my head “Cas?” He sighed and pulled me up onto his bed. “Dean, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to wake you” I mumbled slightly embarrassed. “What are you doing in here?” He asked his eyes hardened no doubt that he was still mad with me, “I couldn’t sleep I had another nightmare” I whispered looking down “Why don’t you just sleep with Sam maybe he’d be able to help you” he said harshly I started shaking, “Because I can’t” I said simply looking up at him to see him looking at the door. “Why?” he pressed “It would be different then how it is with us” I said softly he looked at me again as he sighed in fustration “Whatever Cas I’m tired I’m going to sle-“ and I cut him off his eyes growing wide when I pulled him forward, by grabbing his shirt, and crashed my lips against his. I closed my eyes starting to panic when he didn’t respond and I was about to pull away when I felt his hands snake around my waist pulling me closer against him, his other hand tangling in my hair. When we finaly pulled away he rested his forehead against mine huffing heavily, “Because I love you Dean that’s why it would be weird” He laughed and sat back against the head bourd “Why didn’t you tell me before?” He enquired raising his eyebrow, “Because I’m dangerous Dean I didn’t want to risk your health” I said letting my eyes dart down hesitantly. He leant forward tipping my face up “Cas that’s my decision as well, you can’t just distance yourself from me because you’re scared, that’s what I’m here for, and I’m a big boy I can protect myself.” I huffed going to stand up gasping when he wrapped his arms around my waist to pull me against his chest “Dean you don’t understand, every angel is probably out for me, and I can’t risk having you and Sam and Bobby while you’re near me you could get killed, and I can’t have another death on my head especially not yours, Dean I’ve already caused you so much pain. I was the one who broke you and it kills me that I can’t put you back together again, it kills me to know that I was the one that hurt you.” I said softly “No Cas, now that you’re here it feels like I’m whole again you were the missing piece Cas and I’m never-“ He kissed me passionatley “ever letting you go ever again” He growled tightening his grip around my waist. I felt tears fall down my face but this time I was sure that I wasn’t sad, actually for the first time in forever I was happy, genuenly happy. I looked down again “So” I muttered Dean laughed “What is it Cas?” he rested his forehead against mine “Can I sleep in here now?” I mumbled looking up at him and I jumped when he burst out laughing as he pulled me down on the bed “Yeah Cas you can sleep with me, you can always sleep with me.” he winked at me and I rolled my eyes at him “Dean if that’s some kind of innuendo, that’s not what I meant and you know it.” he laughed again as he pulled me into his side, where I happily curled up. “I love you so much, I love everything about you” he mumbled into my hair “I love you too, ever since I raised you from hell” I mumble back.
