stupid // steve harrington

t h r e e

i thought working at a florist would be an escape from the unbearable stench of rotting pumpkins, but it's really just a trap; flowers smell like shit.

i spritzed the daisies on display and noticed that my nails were caked with dirt. i quickly hid them in my palms and smiled at the passing customer. i wouldn't have been bothered originally, but the manager was in love with an unrealistic standard of cleanliness for someone working around dying plants and dirt. 'remind them of their grandmother' she said, her smile peeled back painfully. i never had a grandmother, so i had to judge from each customer's character to determine what kind of stereotypical grandmother to impersonate. i placed the spray bottle on the counter and braced myself for the next case study.

he was short, taller than me but still short, portly and very happy to be alive. he had on a radio shack uniform with 'bob' sewn into it. he smiled, holding a notepad. his teeth were tiny in his mouth and he looked painfully average. looking past the mustard stain under his collar, i smiled warmly. he has the kind of grandma that cooks excessive amounts and is always high out of her mind on some prescription meds. she loves gingernut biscuits and briskit, but not as much as she loves old romance films in black and white. she never can get his sweater size correct, but she's right about everything else. she smells strongly of lavendar.

"hi, i'm here to buy some flowers," that much was obvious, "but i don't know much about flowers, or plants at all actually," he laughed and pointed to the logo on his button up shirt, "tech is the area i excel in. anyway, what can i get for a girl who's...gorgeous? but not a regular gorgeous, a good gorgeous." i blinked, waiting for more information. i looked down at his notepad and saw one single word: gorgeous.

"well, you're lucky that i'm a pretty good mind reader. is she not only gorgeous, but classically gorgeous? not quite a plain-jane, but not necessarily a marilyn in red? will she stand in all her gorgeousness for millennia to come while those with contemporary beauty wither and die?" bob looked overwhelmed with the detail i had gone into, but meekly nodded. that was where my creativity ended, i knew less about flowers than bob did. first day at this place, fake it. besides, grandma knows best. i pointed to the conveniently placed daisies and smiled. "you can never go wrong with daisies, especially when they're as gorgeous as the woman you described so eloquently."

bob smiled and nodded enthusiastically. i grabbed 10 flowers and wrapped them in silver cellophane while keeping a watchful eye on a woman who was sniffing the flowers outside. the manager warned me about people who had stolen whole plants from the outside displays. i charged him $15 and wished him a lovely day. he scurried out and laughed merrily. i wonder if that's joyce's bob? i pondered. the shop bell rang and i looked at the next customer: steve harrington.

"hey, uh, can i get some apology plants?" i raised an eyebrow and leaned on the counter, trying to figure out what grandma he had. he was too perfect to be from human descent. he had to be a test tube baby. i closed my eyes and exhaled.

"what kind of grandma do you have?" i asked, spritzing the daisies again. he looked puzzled, and then stared at me with his mouth open.

"first of all, she's dead. second of all, she was a chain smoker from queens." i let out a long 'ah' and leaned on the counter in the nature of someone from queens. i tutted a few times and held a phantom cigarette to my lips.

"sweetheart, whadidya' do?" i tutted again and puffed the imaginary smoke into the atmosphere. he looked extremely concerned and crossed his arms. i raised an eyebrow and put a hand out. "i don't got all day."

"apologising for something i said that upset her."

"a-ha! get the gal an orchid, for they are probably as fragile as her emotional state," steve scoffed and looked in the direction of the orchids, "any colour, dahl." i ringed him up for $15 dollars and prepared silver cellophane. he plucked the white orchid from the tall vase and laid it in the cellophane. there were a few still, uncomfortable moments of silence while i made sure the flower was intact and tied the pink ribbon around it. i knew he'd witnessed my freak out in the gym in the morning, and that he saw billy attack me.

"hey, im sorry about not doing anything in the morning. billy's just a little bit fucking crazy and i gambled and thought you would be able to take it. it seems like he does shit like that a lot." i cut the grandma act and nodded solemnly.

"i wish you luck in apologising to nancy, although, i think you might be able to do better." i handed him the flower and walked into the back room without a word. he stood there thinking about what i'd said. i was confident that he'd spit in my face and leave without paying, but he left the money on the counter and walked out with his head low. i exhaled and leaned against my locker. i looked at the clock above the non-descript flowers and grinned. 6 o'clock, time to go home and check on max.

+

i knocked on billy's door three times in rapid succession. he was listening to his shitty hair metal and oogling himself in the mirror, but he didn't come to the door. i knocked again, pacing around the small hallway. still no response. i pounded my fist against the wood until he opened it, which wasn't for a really long time. i was tempted to continue hammering the space where his face was, but decided against it.

"what?" his breath was thick with cigarette smoke, blowing into my face and causing me to go into a coughing fit. he smirked and took another puff.

"billy, have you seen max?" i regained my breath and stared into his eyes, looking for some sort of indication that he would be telling the truth or a lie. he shrugged.

"haven't left my room all afternoon." he puffed his smoke into my face a second time. i didn't splutter as bad as i did the first time, but i still hacked.

"i just checked her room and the window is open." he shook his head and slammed the door in my face. i began to throw my body weight into the door, screaming and clawing. i could hear his laughter from behind his door. i slowly sank to the floor and sighed heavily. there's no way she'd leave without telling me, she always tolds me everything. she wouldn't sneak out if it wasn't dire. i quickly stood up and stormed out of the house to find her.

i always have to do everything around here.

//

oh boyeeee !

max bounced on outta there !

you couldn't have seen that coming !

especially if you watched the show !

also, i modified the flower he bought because i really wanted to make that joke

dude long nails were a horrible idea