Sarfia, JD, Jester and Roark stumbled across a large clearing in the forest where five dirt roads met, and in the center, their very purpose for setting out lay in pieces.
A large, black carriage had been toppled to its side with a few large chests on their sides, scattered by the fall of the carriage. Ahead of them were two horse corpses, still in its reigns, lying motionless in the dirt.
"Look at the pile of dead dogs." Roark pointed a thin finger to the carriage head.
"Dogs..." JD blinked. "Sometimes I wonder why you're a champion."
Jester examined the vehicle, peering inside and spinning the wheels with his gloved hands.
"Ambush, no doubt." He sniffed, then glanced around.
"Company."
Jester and Roark pulled their daggers from their leather belts as JD took a rugged stance, her arms tucked to her side, watching for movement. Sarfia was, among them, the calmest and hardly took a defensive initiative. She simply slipped a slim, black tome out from under her robes.
There was silence.
"Come out, come out, little ones." Jester cooed.
"Thats creepy as fuck..." JD groaned.
An arrow ripped through the forest surrounded them, soaring and sticking into the carriage roof. Sarfia snapped and threw a palm out, casting an absorption spell on the party, a yellow glow blushing from everyone's outline.
JD took a step foward and pulled an arm back, grasping what appeared to be nothing before she hurled her arm foward, literally throwing a chunk of the air into the woods. The projectile bounded past trees, the grass, shrubs and branches flailing sporadically as it rocketed by.
There was a satisfying thwump before someone cried, "Oof!"
"Come out, come out..." Jester was still chanting, stepping side to side like a rocking boat.
From the shrubs jumped several short, lime skinned goblins, all with all manner of makeshift weapons; one was holding a broom.
"That gold is ours!" Shrieked one of the little green runts.
Roark scoffed, and the battle began.
Three green beans rushed foward brandishing homemade daggers and spears, waving them threateningly. JD jumped into their path and crouched, her palms facing out and closely tucked together as she reeled back. With an expert, fluid motion, her hands shot up, smashing into the bottom jaw of one of the goblins and launched him into the treetops.
More goblins began rushing in from different directions and the other three champions began defending their ground. Jester was practically dancing as he stepped rhythmically about, slashing and jabbing his daggers here and about and cutting down goblins as they came. Roark stood on a chest of gold, flicking small knives at anyone who got too close.
Sarfia was calmly firing spells as easily as breathing. A small ball of flame was sent hurtling towards a group of goblins, a bolt of electricity bouncing from one to another, sometimes she even put a little bit more extra effort in and simply made them run into a wall of dirt she made jut up from the ground.
Jester, JD, Roark and Sarfia stood with their backs to eachother in a tight circle, and as the dust cleared, the clearing was littered with small green bodies, most bloodied by their idiotic charge.
Another goblin popped out from the shrubs, and raised a fist.
"Yeah, boys! Let's get the-- oh my god!" He gaped at the carnage.
"Fuck off, this is mine." Roark shot a bird at the goblin.
There was a sudden flash of light before the champions and a dark purple swirling cloud twisted out of thin air, expanding into a vertical oval.
"Ah, yez, hello! 'Tis I, your manager, I'm zummoning you--"
"OH, IT'S COLOR--"
"Pleaze don't stick your foot zrough ze portal, darling."
The heroes look at eachother.
"Was that Jae?" JD asked.
"Sounded like it. Guys, this is a summoning portal, its typically used for emergencies." Sarfia tucked her book away and stepped towards the swirling plane. "Come on, something might be wrong."
With that, she stepped through with JD at her heels.
"Well, shit." Roark sighed, looking down at the chests. Jester seemed irritated, but jumped through anyway.
-- T.H.O.T. --
"In order to begin ze initiation tezt, I muzt have all ze vonderful people here." The Director said. He took his thin, straight white staff and jammed the base into the ground. A spark of purple flittered from the staff and several purple ovals appeared before them.
"OH, THATS A CIRCLE!" Jae bounced up and down. Cake hopped up and down as well.
"Excuze me a moment, I need to record a mezzage. A-hem!" The drow cleared his throat. "Ah, yez, hello! 'Tis I, your manager, I'm zummoning you--"
"OH, IT'S COLOR--" Jae hooked onto Nix and shook her, pointing to the portals as they glowed during the recording. She then shoved off her red sandal and stuck her toe into the purple portal.
"Pleaze don't stick your foot zrough ze portal, darling." The drow snapped and the portal flashed. Jae jumped bacl and picked up her shoe, waving it at him.
"No shock!" She hissed. "I will you smol man!"
A large, heavy figure seemingly fell face first through one of the many portals. He craned his neck foward, resting his chin on the ground as he looked about, eyes darting from Jae and Nix to the ground.
"This doesn't look like Ironhilt." Mikaus grumbled.
"Oh hai, Grandma Goat." Jae stuck out her tongue.
JD, Jester and Sarfia passed through another portal, a short armored gnome from another, and from yet another emerged an aasimar.
"Ohhh are these our new slaves?" Jae's eyes flickered with excitment.
"I've never seen some of them before." Nix whispered, puffing out her chest a little more and holding her chin higher, clearly expecting to compete.
"Oh, its you." Tam tsked as Bravo and Kris followed behind her out of the portal.
"Yez, itz I again. Do ve have everyone?"
Roark passed through, dragging a long, black metal crate.
"Yeah," he panted.
"Ah, vonderful! Ziz iz an initiation tezt to zee vere our recruitz are."
"We were a little busy." Jester said in a low, creepy tone.
"It can vait! Now, recruitz, introduce yourzelves!"
"Aye, if I may, sir." The aasimar stepped foward. She had long, white hair with an iron crown on top. The same iron shelled her torso and thighs with clean, silver armor with white battle robes beneath. The most prominent aspect of her was the two brillaint white wings folded against her back.
"I am Lady Gracie of Ironhilt. I'd like to join the ranks."
"And you?" The drow gestured to the gnome.
"What's up, fuckers." The chainmail gnome rested her mace on the ground and rested on it. "I'm Elena."
--
A big thank you to Eyeamsbird for the extensive amount of character references that helped contribute to this story! Check out her profile and her book, 'Hoes In A Game' to get the best visual of our beloved champions.
