a little part of me.

i.

authors note: thanks for clicking on my book. i actually have no idea where i'm going with this but i was inspired by a few poems i read on tumblr. a vote would be greatly appreciated. anyway, i hope you enjoy!

• • •

i'm fairly good at keeping things to myself. this hasn't always been a good thing though. sometimes it takes every will in me to tell people i appreciate them and it sucks because i really do. other times i want people to know that i really don't want to talk to them but silence isn't always inevitable. 

• • •

i was walking slowly with my eyes on the ground to the school library, the place adelaide and i would meet up after school. today was unusual because i didn't see her sitting by the entrance like she always did. i waited at her spot, somewhat anxiously, hoping she was just late. seconds have passed but it felt like minutes, and eventually those minutes felt like hours. i hesitantly looked around, avoiding eye contact with strangers at all costs, praying i would spot someone with the one of a kind frizzy, red hair.

adelaide, or addy, is probably my closest, and almost only, friend in this dreadful hellhole they call school. i love her. not in a sexual way but rather in a sisterly fashion. everyone who meets her admires her quirky, lovable character. she's one of the most intelligent people, too. above that, she's an amazing artist and i have saved every art piece she has given to me over the past two and a half years. the school library is probably our favorite place in the building since it's the only place we can be ourselves without being judged. the library atmosphere gives us a sense of security and tranquility. it's such a shame people neglect these little things they have access to.

several minutes have passed and addy was no where to be seen. i let out a sigh of disappointment and sat on the ground with my legs crossed.

did she leave me for someone else? maybe she forgot about me.

i would've sent her a text asking where she was but our shitty school removed all access to cellular service and doesn't provide wifi. i thought of going to her ninth period classroom which was all the way on the fifth floor but i didn't really mind walking four flights of stairs. i stood up, maintained my balance, and hastily headed towards the main staircase.

when i reached the fifth floor i made a sharp left turn. my eyes had been focused on the ground and i hadn't noticed that i almost walking straight into someone. it wasn't addy.

"oh hey, i'm sorry, that was my fault," said the person. he sounded genuinely sorry—it was shown through his mildly reddened cheeks.

"i-its fine." i quickly replied breaking eye contact with him. god, i hate stuttering.

"aren't you eloise? i think you're in my english class," he said.

"uh, i'm not sure," i mumbled under my breath. i'm so embarrassing.

"where are you headed to?"

"524, the math wing,"

"do you mind if i walk you there? i have to wait until 3:30 for the bus anyway" he offered.

i shook my head, "i mean if you want to."

he walked along my side, our steps in sync. the silence between us wasn't necessarily awkward— it was actually reassuring, in a way.

"i'm finn, in case you didn't know," he said turning his head towards me. i made eye contact with him. god, his eyes are so pretty. the hazel suited very well with his wavy, dark brown hair.

"obviously, finn, we're in the same english class!" i replied. i felt warmness spreading through my cheeks and i smiled at him.

"why are you going to the math wing anyway?" he asked.

"i'm looking for my friend, addy, do you know where she is by any chance?"

"ah she's in my world history class but i have no idea where she is right now, sorry."

"it's okay." i replied.

we were two rooms down from 524 and when we reached the right room i peered through the little glass window. i saw addy talking to her algebra teacher, mr. barons. the door was slightly open but their voices were barely audible and their words were incomprehensible. i knocked softly on the door and pushed it a few inches back.

"addy?"