YouTube imagines.

Till Death Do Us Part (Colby)

5 years ago I married my best friend. We started a life together, a beautiful life. His youtube career kept rising and I devoted myself to raising our first child. Our beautiful baby girl, Olivia. We had a good life, in the public eye. However behind closed doors it was horrible. Not even our closest friends new about it. No one knew about the screaming at night, no one knew about how his drunken words cut deep into me every fight or that the only thing we can still agree on is that we love our baby. I still loved him but this wasn't the man I married in any way. Still though I put a smile on my face and pretended he was the man I married. 

Once again Colby stumbles through the door at 2 in the morning. I had put Olivia back to sleep just before he walked in. 

"Hello" I said as he sat next to me on the couch. I could tell he had been drinking but he was trashed.

"Hey baby". He tried to kiss me but I turned away. "What do you say you and me make another Olivia?". He pulled me on top of him. I pulled away but he was stronger. He flipped us over and kissed my neck. 

"Colby stop, I don't want to", I pushed him off "I said stop". 

"How is it possible that out of all the girls throwing themselves at me I end up with a bitchy prude like you?" I didn't even flinch, he had called me so many names before that it was just a normal tuesday night in our house. "Not even going to answer me anymore?"

"Why should I? I know where this leads, you say something you know will hurt me, I defend myself, it leads to a huge fight and then I go to sleep upstairs and you pass out on the couch. Am I wrong?" This was the most civilized conversation we'd had in months. 

"Whose fucking fault is that?" Que fighting. 

"Your's, you come home drunk every goddamn night. We don't talk anymore, we yell and fight but we don't talk". 

"What is there to talk about?"

"Why are you always drunk for starters?" 

"Because I can be! Im 25 married and a father. I didn't get a chance to be a crazy bachelor, I didn't get to party." At least he's being honest finally. 

"You want to be a bachelor so bad then leave!" This was the only time either one of us had said to leave. The look on his face said it all, I finally saw the man I married. 

"I will not leave you! We vowed 'til death do us part, I did not take that vow lightly". I felt my eyes well up. 

"If you keep this up you might as well have. All I ever wanted from you was to be loved. 
When did that become too much to ask for? When did I stop being enough?" The tears fell freely down my face. We both just stopped, staring at each other from across the room. No words left our mouth, tears just streamed down both our faces. "Where did we go wrong?" 

"We didn't go wrong, I did. I'm sorry,  you've always been enough, you will always be enough. I'm sorry I lost sight of myself. I'm so fucking sorry". He walked closer to me, I didn't move away. I needed his embrace, I needed him. He pulled me into his chest and we cried, we cried together for the rest of the night. Until eventually we fell asleep in eachothers arms. 

**I cried writing this because it hurt to think of Colby like this**