Most girls would get mad at the girl talking to the guy they want because they're too insecure with themselves that they're threatened by the other female and assume they could take away what they want.
I'm like most girls.
-
Jane sat next to me that day in English.
"I'm having such a good day." I rest my chin on my arm and look at her. "I can't wait for after school."
We were supposed to go to a party that day. I wish I could've warned myself about this day, done things differently, maybe I could've avoided it. Prevented it.
"Me too! Can you still take me?" She asked, packing her bag. I looked at the clock.
"Yeah," The bell rings as I grab my bag and stand up.
Jane and I walked out together and chatted all the way to the student parking lot. We parted ways as she skipped to her boyfriends car and greeted him with a kiss.
I put headphones in as I walked to Grayson's car. I saw him through the untainted window and smiled.
"Hey bro," I smile, closing his car door behind me.
He hugs me when put my bookbag in the back and squeezes. "You're going home to get ready for the party right?" He asks.
He puts the car in drive.
"Duh." I joke and roll my eyes.
The ride home was peaceful.
-
My parents were already shouting at eachother as I walked through the door. I ignore them and go to my room, closing and locking the door behind me.
I tune them out with my music as I stare at my closet thinking of what I'll wear.
"Ramona!" My mother shouts.
It starts here.
I take out my headphones with a groan and open my door. "No taking the car tonight."
She huffs, coming in my room and snatching the keys from my bed.
My heart races. "I told you I had somewhere to go!" I argue, following her stomps out of the room.
"Too bad! You're father wants to blame me for the scratch you left on the car so you can't drive it anymore. I'm done." She spits back.
My neck feels hot and I turn to my dad. "It wasn't my fault! Kids at my school don't know how to park!" I yell.
"Then you're not taking it." He shrugs.
I roll my eyes and run into my room to get my phone.
-
I can't go.
After asking everyone, nobody could take me. Nobody had room, nobody could squeeze me in, nobody even tried.
Maybe they didn't want you.
I lie in my room, hugging myself and looking up at my ceiling. It was midnight.
My phone stood on my bedside table, mocking me that I couldn't go.
I look at it and give in.
Jane: fifty-nine minutes ago.
"I'm so drunk help me." The quick video ends.
I smile at myself, half glad she's having a good time and half upset that I'm not with her.
My fingers keep pressing on the videos everyone is posting of the party. Then it starts.
My heart starts beating out of my chest when Grayson is one someone's snapchat with a pretty girl.
Who is she?
I replay it.
I look at her closely.
Replay.
I look at him.
After getting a few more replays out of my system I exit the video. I look at more.
Chandler: four minutes ago.
'Grayson wild'
I watch his hand slither around a girls waist and bury his head in her neck. My heart aches.
Replay.
Jane: two minutes ago.
"Say hi!" She exclaims to the girls next her.
Grayson is in the back walking with her.
Lena: sixteen seconds ago.
A picture in a mirror, Grayson's hands are wrapped around her back, low. She smiles and kisses his neck as his hands lower.
My phone drops.
For a second, I pretend like I'm back where I was a few minutes ago, lying innocently staring at the ceiling.
What do I do?
My head hurts.
I lay there for about ten minutes before I realize I'm crying. My eyes water even more and I hide my face in my pillow.
Why wasn't I enough?
Out of everyone he chooses who I didn't like.
What do I say?
He doesn't care about you. He doesn't know how you feel and even if he did he doesn't want you. It was never going to happen.
It was never going to happen.
