I walked out of the Apple store.
Oh, my god. I just got my new iPhone 7 and I am feeling so damn proud of myself. "Ritchelle, get your ass over here!" I looked up, annoyed. Over there in the distance was my bestfriend, Laila.
"I don't want to!" I pouted, looking back down on my new iPhone. "Shut your bitch ass and come here or else I won't treat you to some mothertruckfucking churros!" I looked over at Laila again, stomping my way to her.
"Get your wallet ready, slut. We're going to get fucking churros like you promised." I barked at her, sliding the phone in my pocket. She fake gasped. "Oh, I am sorry, your royal fake bitchiness! Let's go get some awesome churros to shove up your royal ass."
And so, we went to HapiMex and got some churros. "Why do you even like churros?" Laila happily munched on her taco. "BTS loves churros, so I love it just as much." I took another piece and shoved it into my mouth.
"BTS again? I swear, the chances of you ever getting noticed by those Korean pretty boys are 0.00000001%. Keep dreaming, though." I smeared some dip on her face. "Oh, shut up. They're having a concert here and I will surely attend!"
I took a bite of my sweet churro and smiled at Laila. She raised a brow at me. "Yeah, in like what, 5 months? And here you are, having no money whatsoever to buy concert tickets." I rolled my eyes at her. She took the last bite of her taco.
"My job salary can cover the costs. Besides, Sandra said she'll pay me if I take care of her kid while she's away for 3 months." I pointed a churro at her before putting it in my mouth. Laila nodded thoughtfully.
"Okay, but holy hell. Would it kill to eat a little faster?! I could've used the time waiting for you to finish in doing other things!" Once again, I rolled my eyes at her, slowly taking a bite of the churro as if to mock her. "Yeah, like your boyfriend?"
She choked. "Yes, that's right, bitch. Choke on your dirty water." I watched as she took my glass of water and drank from it. There were at least 3 more pieces of churro in the holder. Wow, am I that slow of an eater?
Since I had no shame and apparently no time, I simply shoved all 3 pieces of churro in my mouth. It felt as if my cheeks would tear apart. That's okay. If I die, I die eating my favorite food. No regrets.
"For fuck's sake, Ritchelle, be a lady for once and eat properly!" Laila scolded me. I kept chewing on the churros, the taste filling my mouth. After a minute or two, I was finally able to swallow everything.
"I finished it." I said, rather smugly. Laila shook her head. "Finally. And don't be so proud of it, you looked like a pornstar." I scoffed, licking the dip off my fingers. "Bitch, you're just jealous of my skills." She eyed me in disgust.
I switched on my iPhone and waited for it to activate. Finally, it did. I went through the setup of the phone and finally, I was all set. I pulled on Laila's ponytail. "Hey, bitchflakes. Give me your number." She glared at me.
"Bitch, did you just assume my gender?! Oh, and it's **** *** ****." I typed in her number, also my Mom's. And my Dad's. And Sandra's. And Aunt Kelly's. And Dave's from work. And my boss'. And pretty much every person I have asked for their number. Yeah, not to brag, but I have a great memory.
"Ritchelle, watch out for the pole!" I heard Laila call from behind me. I looked up. "What pol-" My face smacked directly onto the pole. "I told you to watch out." She placed a hand on her hip. I rubbed my stinging forehead. "You could've told me sooner!" I hissed at her.
I looked down at my hands. Thank goodness my phone was unharmed. This phone costs more than my damn life! Laila helped me up. "You were the best student in our class, and yet you can't even notice a pole in front of you. Wow. Great job. So proud of you."
