I'm alone, I'm depressed...Nobody cares. Not even slightly. I feel like a disappointment. My life is a lie. I can't tell anyone anything without them judging me. Today was just the worst. Probably one of the worst days of my life. Ron, My Step dad walked straight into my room, he said, I know.
You know what? Ron?
He said sternly and angrily, You're a failure. You'll never amount to anything. You're just like your father. No wonder he left you. You'll never amount to anything
I got pissed when he mentioned my father. So pissed I almost killed him. My face as red as anything you've saw, I managed to contain my anger for the sake of my mom and siblings. I told him I know, and that I'll try harder. When really trying is just a lie to tell yourself when you really don't feel like doing anything at all. The thought of him calling me a failure replayed in my head. Over and over. I began to cry.
Damn maybe he's right maybe I'm nothing more than a failure. I need to hold it together. For my family and my own sake. I headed down the stairs to the kitchen, My mom , in a happy mood along with my brother and sister.
Ryan you've been in your room all day. You need to enjoy your life with your friends and family. There's no need to be down all the time, it's bad for your health.
Riley looked at me, and asked "Why do you always have red eyes, are you doing drugs again"
What the hell? How dare he disrespect me like that? I've never tried one drug in my life. Son of a bitch Ron probably told him that.
Before I could answer the question my mother but-in,
Now that's enough, Riley. Leave him alone, that's his own business. Drugs will not be tolerated in my household.
Great...Now she thinks I'm on drugs... I sit down at the table..Great now I have to deal with more bullshit
As dinner gets ready
Emily and Riley are just staring at me they think I'm some junkie. I hate this.. I hate this family. I hate being here. I wish I wasn't apart of this fucking family.
I'm so lost inside my thoughts I didn't even hear Ron asking me his stupid questions.
Kid. Kid?!? He snaps his fingers at me. Listen up. As long as your at this table or under this roof you will listen and answer questions truthfully or you can leave
How is he gonna throw out a 15 year old? How would my mom allow that?
He repeats his question one more time.
Ryan, Do you enjoy being apart of this family?
I stand up, and I head for the front door and walk out.
Fuck this. They have no right. He's gonna throw me out anyways, might as well just leave.
My thoughts just take over as I walk farther and farther from the house and continue to walk
And before I could look up I bump into this guy.
Sorry man, didn't see you there.
He said jokingly
I gave him a look, as if I don't care and I shrug and continue to walk
He grabs me,
Hey, you don't look like you know where you're going. Are you okay?
No I'm not okay. Do I look like I'm okay
No you don't. Wanna talk about it?
I'd rather not
He points to his car
My car is just right there. If you need a ride then I can take you, we can talk about it on the way to wherever you're going.
I look over to where he point
I don't have anywhere to be going
He smirks and answers, you can come to my house.
I don't even know you.
I'm Alex, now will you come with me?
I nod. while
I have no where to go. This seems logical. Just please don't turn out to be a serial killer. Can this day get even worse? maybe death would be a better option rather than be here and find out, I think to myself.
