Put Your Curse In Reverse [Part 2]

Chapter 3 - Laws

Lying in the bathtub with his wife would've been peaceful if it weren't for the low, constant stream of expletives flowing from her lips.

They'd spent an hour flying after the kids went to bed (or, more accurately, Ginny spent an hour hurdling the Quaffle at Harry hard enough to nearly send him flying from his broom a couple of times), but even that hadn't managed to diffuse her temper. She was wound up even now, her body tense against his, her eyes glowering darkly at the bath water. Consequently, Harry wanted nothing more than to deal with Rita himself; it was one thing that she was invading their privacy, but it was something else entirely that she had upset Ginny this much. What had been said and what had been done at the Ministry that night were still a mystery to Harry—beyond the fact that the women had been moved to striking each other—but he knew once Ginny did tell him that he'd be in a state similar to the one she was in now, which was probably why she hadn't yet. Both of them in a towering temper was dangerous.

While Ginny methodically cursed every one of Rita Skeeter's ancestors with language combinations both impressive and inspiring, Harry decided tending to her wounds couldn't make things worse. He grabbed his wand from the side of the bathtub and lifted her right hand. He mended the scabbed skin of her knuckles, moved onto her left hand, and then pressed the tip of his wand to the burn on her shoulder. She paused her hateful diatribe once he'd finished mending it and glanced back, meeting his eyes.

"She'd already drafted an article when I got there."

"Seriously?" Harry demanded. "Did you destroy it?"

"I took it. But I'm sure she's made copies." Ginny gently pulled Harry's wand from his fingers, directed it to her bloody, sooty, and sweaty cloak puddled on the floor, and Accioed a long sheet of parchment. She set his wand on the ledge and held the parchment up, her wet fingertips leaving damp circles along the edges of Rita Skeeter's vomit-green writing.

"'Prophet readers who follow my columns will not be shocked to discover that Albus Potter, son of the mentally-ill Boy Who Lived and Daily Prophet's own resident hothead Ginny Potter, is currently involved in a deep and dangerous sexual relationship with accused son of Voldemort, Scorpius Malfoy. Like the man he was named for, Albus Potter seems to suffer from serious perversions of mind and body, and his thoughts are undoubtedly tainted with venom from the fangs of England's most notorious snakes—the Malfoys. I stumbled upon the forbidden lovers, only to find them writhing on the streets of Godric's Hollow, covered in blood, engaged in what appeared at first to be fighting but turned out to be abusive snogging—'"

"Abusive snogging?" Harry demanded.

"'Upon closer examination, I discovered that Albus Potter was covered in bleeding wounds, certainly from the hand of his very own lover. Under what circumstances did Albus Potter obtain these grave injuries? Is Scorpius Malfoy living up to the Malfoy name? Long-time readers will remember that I have always believed Lucius and Draco Malfoy to be supporters of archaic domestic violence—a belief that was only bolstered by Astoria Malfoy's sudden, suspicious death. Or, I will suggest, does the young Potter's dark streak run deeper than expected? Does he revel in getting injured—perhaps out of some deep-seated instinct for self-hatred, no doubt instilled in him by his father, Harry Potter? Or—even darker yet—are the wounds meant to be a red-herring? Perhaps Albus Potter takes after his violent and unpredictable mother (whom I have long suspected of being mentally damaged due to the mental and emotional injuries she sustained while at Hogwarts, see my article on page 32) and the marks on his body are no more than wounds inflicted from Scorpius Malfoy in self-defense. This leaves me with one, clear question: where are the parents? Why aren't they intervening in such a violent and obsessive relationship? Why haven't they separated the abusive, deviant lovers for good? Luckily for my readers, I have an answer. While Albus Potter and Scorpius Malfoy were openly engaged in furious homosexual acts in the streets of Godric's Hollow, his parents were engaged in their own debauchery. Close sources report that Harry Potter is "obsessed" with showering with his wife, to the point that the couple "have upwards of ten showers a day, sometimes more, and a dozen on Boxing Day". The couple is reported to have a Muggle television in the bathroom, as well as a fully-stocked kitchen—"