Reckless Devotion

Ch.7

A/N: Thank you all so much for reading! Please, comment and vote too!! This chapter is dedicated to the funny, kind, and amazing alexwoodsy. She even made the manip I used in this chapter. If you want the next chapter dedicated to you, all you have to do is vote and/or comment.

Songs: For Sam and Adam scenes in this chapter listen to Dusk Till Dawn by Zayn ft. Sia. For Will, listen to Save Myself  by Ed Sheeran. For Brooke listen to Too Good At Goodbye by Sam Smith, and for Brooke and Will listen to So Cold by Ben Cocks.

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One Week Later

With my head between my fluffy pillows, my thoughts were lost as they replayed the past week like a broken record. Yet, just like a broken record, my thoughts seemed to skip, to pause, and to never fully have their chance to come to fruition. It's times like these I wished I could ask mom for advice. Frustrated, and frankly bored, I remembered what Dr. Ellsworth, my former grief counselor, suggested.

Jumping off the bed, and accidentally scaring Butterfly, I searched my nightstand. Hidden underneath a ton of fuzzy socks was my blue box. This box contained bits and pieces of my life that I kept for my mom. It may seem silly, but it made me feel like I shared important parts of my life with her. Maybe one day when I felt ready to let go, I'd bury it, but for right now I kept it nearby.

Opening the lid, I rummaged through the items. Besides laughing at the photos of myself with Dad or Will, I realized I didn't experience anything significant enough to include in this box. Pulling out my old notebook, I laughed at my entries as a freshman, especially when every other page included how much I hated Chemistry. Making myself comfortable, I flipped to a blank page, found a pen, and started writing.

Hi Mom,
It's been a while. I know. I'm sorry. I hope your garden, especially your daisies, are blooming. Do you miss me as much as I miss you? Ha, who am I kidding? I know you do. Lately, life has been....interesting. And I just...well, I just need a sign about what to do.

I think you already know what I'll tell you, but I still can't believe it. WILL WAS ARRESTED! Like put into handcuffs type of arrested!!Okay, so in order for you not to fall asleep at my riveting re-capping, I'll try to write what happened like a story since I wanna be a writer. Or an editor. Or a reviewer. Or a publisher. Anyways, I think you get the hint. Don't judge my writing too harshly, ok?

Xoxo Gossip Girl (yeah, I always wanted to write that...remember how we used to watch the show together?)

Love you forever,
Sam.

Laying on my belly, I noticed how therapeutic this was for me. My outlet was writing and my hope was that by writing it all down, I'd have some idea about what to do. Picking up the pen I started writing everything that happened following Will's arrest:

"I can't," Brooke's words echoed through my mind as we drove to Willow Springs police station. Besides the muffins rattling around in the backseat, there was an eerie silence in the car. What did she mean with she can't come with us? When did Brooke and Will become an item? Why didn't Will tell me?

"I bought muffins for you," I broke the silence as I stared out of the window. The trees blurred with the lights, creating a mixed array of indistinct colors but my thoughts remained clear; my thoughts were with Will. The guy who comforted me for months after Mom died. The guy who cried in the first grade until Paula agreed to add extra snacks in his lunch box because he worried that Lily, our classmate, didn't have any. The guy who in the fourth grade ran three miles in the rain to see me in the hospital.