Ponyboy's pov
No doubt about it. I knew it myself. I'm gay. It's because I hang out with a lot of guys. Soda, Darry, dally, Johnny, ect. All the greasers knew I was gay because they were, too. Johnny and dally have been going out for two months. Two-bit and Steve kissed yesterday and started going out today. Now Darry, soda, and I were the only ones left. But hell I found myself crazy to fall in love with my own brothers. But yet I did. both Darry and soda. I couldn't believe it myself. But I had to accept the fact it was true. Now hell they won't love me back even though they were gay. Well they love me as a brother. Not as in romantic love. But today changed all that.
I walked on our porch and turn the knob of the door. School was pretty good except for the fact that I got a B on my quiz today since I've been thinking about my love for my brothers. As I opened the door and stepped in, I stopped instantly, eyes glued on the image on the couch. Let's just say, who in the world will come from school and find their two older brothers making out on the couch?! I ain't kidding! Darry and soda were kissing on the couch right now. I didn't feel awkward, I felt jealous, left out, ignored. I wanted to be apart of that
Darry and soda's moaning grew louder and louder and I was getting more and more jealous, so I broke the silence, "umm guys?!"
They stopped making out, which made me feel a little better, and sprung away from each other
"Shit!" I heard Darry curse under his breath.
We remained silent I broke it, "so when were you guys gonna tell me about this?"
Soda says "uhh..."
Soda kept looking for the right word to say, until Darry sighed, "never."
I drop my jaw "what?"
Soda yells, "Darry!"
Darry responds, "he has to know sometime!"
"But pony's only 14!"
"But he's family!"
"Why would he want to know that his two older brothers are in a relationship?!"
"We can't lie to our family!"
As they continue to fight, I figured out my answer. Sure they're in love with each other even if they're brothers. I'm happy for them, but it doesn't solve my problem. When Darry said I was family is what hurt me so much. They only want each other. I bet they don't want me in as well. I really am only a brother to them. I clenched my fist in jealousy and pain. I can't take this pain anymore!
I scream, "alright just STOP!"
I started breathing heavily and my older brothers stopped arguing and kept on staring at me. Tears started forming in my eyes.
"Pony..." Darry and soda said simultaneously.
I sigh deeply, getting ready to tell them the truth about me, "I'm okay with you guys dating okay?! I am, I swear! I just..."
At this point I was crying. I threw my face in my palm and sobbed.
I didn't look up but I heard Darry reply, "pony, you don't have to hide that your okay with me and so-"
I cut him off by looking up screaming "I SAID, IM OKAY WITH IT!"
Both guys looked at me with shock.
I continue, "look, I don't mind you two going out and all, but the only main reason why I'm is 'cause...you..."
I wiped more tears streaming from my eyes and continue, "you guys only think of me as a brother!"
They were completely perplexed so they just replied, "what?"
I continue, "you guys know that I'm gay. But I'm gay in a different way!"
Soda asks, "what do you mean, pony-"
"I'm in love with both of my older brothers! But you guys are only In love with each other...you only think of me as the younger brother and...you know what JUST LEAVE ME ALONE" then I ran out the door
I was stupid. I was stupid of thinking they would love me back.
