If you love me, let me in (Prinxiety)

Chapter 10

Roman's Pov

I think I like Anxiety. Well, I like anxiety. I always have. I got mad to hide my feelings. But now I know I was wrong to do that. I want to know him more. I want him to know me more.

Virgil's Pov

"Wake up, sleepy head"

"Oh, good morning Princey"

"Let's go eat" Dee used to say that. But Dee isn't saying it, Prince is. Dee isn't here, Prince is

-Location change to . . . the kitchen-

"Good morning, kiddos"

"I'm not your kid" "Morning Dad"

"Salutations"

"Hello Logan" "Sup"

"Breakfast is ready"

"What are you guys eating?" I ask, going to make something for me

"Pancakes" Patton says

"And you're eating it too" Princey says, pulling me to the table. He cares, why? Dee was the only one who cared. But now princey cares too. I guess that's okay.

"Ok, no need to be so rough" I say, but I don't actually mind. 

"Sorry" He says, with genuine worry

"I'm just joking"

"Oh ok" Roman says as Patton places a plate in front of me

"How many you want kiddo?"

"Just one" I wish I could say zero and go back to my room

"You sure? You should probably eat more" Patton says, looking me over

"Yeah, I'm sure. I'm fine" He just nods, still worried

"Syrup?" Princey asks

"No thank you" Too much sugar

"You're gonna eat that plain?" he asks like I just murdered a herd of sheep

"Yes"

"Come on, have a bite with syrup" he says, waving around his fork, which had some pancake on it.

"Okay" I say as I put his fork in my mouth

"That's not what I meant Hot Topic"

"Oh, so you think I'm hot?" Princey goes to say something but I just hear squealing

"Ahh, I ship it" Patton squeals. Fan girl mode has taken over. 

"Ugh, i'm gonna go"

"Yeah, can come with you?"

"Sure" And the pancakes were left, unfinished

-Location change to . . . Virgil's room-

"So, can you tell me more about how you feel?"

"What? Oh um sure"

"I mean, you don't have to if you don't want to"

"No, I think it would be better if you knew more" I didn't actually want to tell him, I was just looking for an excuse to talk to him. 

"Okay"

"Let's start pre- depression, when it was just anxiety"

"Whatever makes you most comfortable"

"Well, you guys pushed me away, not really understanding what I was worth." I saw him flinch at my words, I guess he feels guilty, "So I spent my time walking around. But this place is awake, the shadows, the monsters. Oh the hallways, they echoed and groaned" I started shaking. 

"Shh, it's ok. You don't have to say more" He held me and rubbed my back

"No, I want to" Its time I face, I can't keep it in forever. I already know what that does

"If you want" He said, worried

"I sat alone, in bed till morning. Crying. They're coming for me. I knew I couldn't tell you guys. I couldn't look weak. So, I tried to hold these secrets inside me. My mind's like a deadly disease" I was crying now. 

"You don't have to be alone anymore. You don't have to keep it in. I'm here for you. I'l always be here"

"Thank you"

"Anytime, you can continue if want" I nodded

"It just got worse. I paced around for hours on empty. I jumped at the slightest of sounds. I couldn't stand the person inside me. I turned all the mirrors around"

"That's when you got depression" His voice wavered. He look scared.

"You look scared, like when I got angry" I say, remembering, "You cried out, 'please stop, you're scaring me'. I can't help this awful energy. God damn right, you should be scared of me. Who is in control?"

"Anx, calm down. You're not scaring anyone right now. You're in control"

"Sorry" I say, shaking my head

"No, i'm sorry you had to go through all of this" he said, starting to cry, "Especially with no one to help you"

"It's okay, I'm well acquainted with the demons that live under my bed ans I've grown familiar with the villains that live inside my head"

"No, it shouldn't be this way" He said, growing angrier. It reminded me of Dee. Dee before he knew me, before he cared, before he fell in love. And that scared me.

I felt the panic set in. My chest tighten. It felt like a weight lifter decided to leave his weights on my  chest. My throat closed. It felt dry and scratchy. My breathing, shaky and uneven. I knew what to do, this happened before. But this time I'm not alone. I'm not with someone who couldn't do something. I'm with someone who could make it better.

"Anx, what's going on?" he realized soon enough, "panic attack, oh this is worse than Thomas'"

"Just focus on my breathing, okay" He put my hand on his chest. That only made it worse.

"Oh god, umm. Breathing exercises" What is he doing. My vision is blurring. "Okay, anx, just follow my instructions. Breathe in for four, hold for seven, and out for eight" I did as he said, it helped. 

"Okay, better. Can you see?" I nodded "Tell me five things you see"

"My bed, my rug, my ceiling, your clothing and pretty face"I felt okay. Okay enough to make a joke.

"I think you're okay now"

"Thank you, I've never had someone do that for me before"

"You had to go through those all alone?"

"Yeah, you idiot"

"I'm so sorry. I'm a horrible person. I've failed as a prince to protect you"

"It's okay, I learned how to calm myself down and Dee tried to help as much as he could. But being another negative disorder, he couldn't do much"

"You're not just a disorder. You're a person with feelings. And I'm sorry I hurt them"

"I've never seen this"

"What?"

"this caring and protective side"

"Well, I am a prince"

"I like this side"

I like you

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I miss having to go back through my chapters to italicizes dialogue. Well anyways, thanks for reading. Comment, vote, whatever.

-SoftxRacoon