savior. [ coming soon ]

#1

Renae.

I stared at brother, who was now leaning against the counter whilst rolling up a blunt, turning his head a little, he looked over at me giving me a small nod. Ignoring the gestrue, I looked away, leaning back on couch slowly.
Me and my brother Raheem had a love and hate relationship. One day we could be laughing, joking around. Then the next we could be in a heated ass argument, and that leads to him not coming home for a few days, leaving me in the apartment alone.

"Wassup Renae, I got sum' on my face or wat?"

I chuckled. Looking up to see that he was walking towards the living room. He took the blunt out his mouth, blowing the smoke out his nose.

"Nah."

"Yeah yeah. But listen. You really need to start going back to school, ever since mama died you stopped."

"I ain't going back to Bridge high Heem, I don't fuck with anybody that goes there, they're all so annoying."

"Mom would've wanted you to graduate, I wan't you to graduate."

I sighed, running my hand through my loose curls, I was unmotivated, emotionally unstable and 80% of my days consisted of sleep. I've always felt like school was a waste of time, and I also felt like it was a struggle for us late teens to have to deal with.

"Fine. But I ain't going Bridge high anymore, i'll transfer." I spoke with a little attitude in my voice, I was a tired of him bringing mama's name up in everything to persuade me, it was irritating.

He nodded, blowing the smoke out his mouth this time, running his hand over his waves, looking into the mirror we had in the living room.

"Ugly ass nigga, which bitch gassed you?"

He slapped me in my arm hard as hell, running off into his room, closing up his door.

Getting up off the couch, I walked towards mama's room. I always came in here whenever I felt alone, or uneasy about a situation. I would just lay on her bed and talk about all my problems, insecurities and also my worries for Heem. He was on the streets a lot, and sometimes I wouldn't hear from him in days. If I lost him. I'd have nobody.

Whenever I laid in her bed, I felt as if she was laying next to me and listening quietly. Although I never got any answers, I always felt clean after having a long talk.

Sighing lowly, I pushed open the cream coloured door, walking in I looked at the picture of me, mama and Heem that was placed upon her shelf.
We all look real happy, obviously that was a few months before we found out that mama was ill. She wouldn't tell us anything, she refused to let us stress over her. And honestly, if she told us about her illness earlier she would've still been alive right now, and everything would've been much better.

Sitting on my bed, I grabbed my laptop, putting it down in front of me, opening it quickly, I plugged in my headphones, playing X's mixtape, searching for a further high school, somewhere not as close. I didn't wan't to go school around here. I also didn't want nobody knowing about me. I was simply going to get my grades and graduate. And if I happened to make friends whilst doing that, then so be it.