When you have depression, you don't feel it every day. Sometimes you can go weeks, maybe months without feeling it. You could be living your life normally and then BAM! You have this crushing feeling of absolutely nothing. You just all of a sudden feel empty. And sometimes that can last for a while. It doesn't matter how happy you are. The depression always comes back. And it hurts Everytime.
It makes you question things that you already know the answer to. It gives you intrusive thoughts like "no guy will like me because I'm not skinny like her." Or "You were weird last time you were with him, now he wants nothing to do with you because he thinks you're a freak." And you can tell yourself these things aren't true but it doesn't matter. They still pop up and don't go away for a while.
There's a guy I like. And I'm 100% sure he doesn't like me back. I've flirted and he made no moves back. But it still sucks. And I keep seeing him liking all of this one girls posts and I can't help but thinking, what if I was like her. What if I was confident like her. What if I was pretty like her. What if I was... Her. Abd then I keep thinking and the thoughts get more and more stupid. Like, what if the reason my best friend since 6th grade and I are falling out is because you gained weight? She doesn't want to be seen with a fat fuck like you. That's why she parties with her new bestie. And doesn't even bother checking on you anymore. That's why no guy wants to talk to you is because youre fat and ugly. You have no friends because no one wants to be friends with the bitchy depressed fat girl.
