A Door in the Wall (Converted Camren)

Chapter 19

They prepared dinner in a joint effort, Camila cutting and slicing, Lauren mixing and spicing the food. While Lauren quickly put some finishing touch to the meal, Camila took the plates out of the cupboard and placed the cutlery on the counter. She also brought two candles and placed the flowers that she Lauren had bought for her from a small flower shop on her way to Camila's appartment. Lauren had wanted to surprise Camila with them, the flowers had earned her such a sweet kiss and the joy in Camila's eyes was so infectious that Lauren contemplated buying the whole shop next time.

They sat down to eat and enjoyed the meal in silence for a moment, only interrupted by the occasional "mhm, good" from Camila praising her girlfriend's cooking.

At one point Lauren put down her fork and Camila sensed that a question was coming up. Something about Lauren's posture and expression always changed whenever she prepared to ask something meaningful that would cause Camila to have to reflect about herself again. She felt a bit like she had done quite a soul striptease over the past weeks. Not that she minded, she was actually happy to have Lauren in her life who really cared about her and was always interested to learn about what was preoccupying her. It felt good to get the things out of her mind into the open that had been locked up there for many months. It helped her to order her thoughts and it let her see herself in a clearer light.

Camila had bared almost all her feelings, doubts and insecurities to the other woman, who in turn had also shared quite a lot about herself, about her emotions, thoughts and motivations. The questions and following discussions were always carried in an understanding and caring way, yet never overbearing or dogmatic. Camila loved being able to exchange her opinions and feelings on such a level and with such a deep and strong connection to someone.

So she studied Lauren, waiting for her to form the words. The small expectant smile on Camila's face threw the singer a little off course.

What?

"Nothing. I am just waiting for you to pose the question."

What?

"I said I am just waiting..." She was interrupted by Lauren's hands.

I got that the first time. How did you know I wanted to ask you something?

Camila chuckled, a bit surprised that Lauren could not guess the obvious.

"Trade secret. Shoot."

Lauren gave her a quizzical look, still not catching on, but decided to get back to the actual question that burned in her mind.

Want to tell me how your last two days were? You looked so tired and worn out when we Skyped on Wednesday. I was worried about you.

Camila's eyes clouded over, knowing full well what Lauren wanted to know. The agreement regarding total honesty was exhausting, sometimes. Well, only when it came to topics that she did not want to discuss, that were still too tender and fragile within her to bring them out into the open. Nevertheless, her mouth poured out the next words.

"Which part do you want to know? The one about meeting my manager or the one about the letters?"

She watched Lauren's slender hand sneak across the counter top and squeeze her own. Camila laid her fork down and sighed, debating with herself to stall or to face up. Before Lauren could answer, because she held on to her hand for comfort, Camila gathered her courage and started to explain. However, to her own surprise a completely different topic found its way out of her heart.

"Ashlee came over for a visit, two days ago. She was on a spontaneous business trip." She saw Lauren nod; after all, she had met her on that same evening as well.