Taking Risks

20

HER

I'm happy. So damn happy. I have that nothing-can-break-me kind of happiness right now, at this very moment. I wish I can stay this way. I wish I don't have to go back to my life before. I wish that this - with RJ, by the sea - would be my everyday.

I wish...

*sigh*

So many wishes that I don't know if they can really be fulfilled. So many damn wishes that I actually know cannot be fulfilled.

And of course, just like that - my feelings of happiness took a little nose dive.

Jusko naman, Nicomaine. Erase. Erase. Ganda, ganda ng view mo tapos kung ano ano 'yang bigla mong iniisip.

Doon ka lang dapat sa happy.

Yes, I should just be happy. I smile at that thought. Happiness is relative anyway. And right now, I really am.

Because yes, I have a great view in front of me. As I lay on my side on this soft and plush king-size bed, the sun shining through, the morning sea breeze gently blowing through the open windows of our master suite, the curtains slowly swaying - I'm happy.

RJ...

I smile as he crinkles his nose when I gently pat it with a finger, still remaining asleep beside me. He groans a little as if complaining when I poke his nose yet again, his arms around me tightening.

Yes, I woke up to the most beautiful view ever. That of the one I love.

Love...

Mahal ko na nga siya, ano? Siya kaya, mahal din ako?

I frown a little as I reflect on what I'm currently feeling. I mean, is it really safe to say that I love this man beside me? Is what I feel for this beautiful human can be considered true love? How do I know that it is? Sure, I've read tons of different novels about romance and love and about falling in-love.

But this... This feeling... Can this be it?

As I continue to stare at RJ, however, he murmurs unintelligibly while he pulls me closer to his body, his leg now getting tangled with mine. I don't really remember how we got into this position. We must have moved in our sleep and drifted towards the warmth of each other's bodies during the middle of the night. With the bed being this huge, I don't know who moved first. I remember falling asleep on the edge of this bed. But I found myself waking up in the middle of the bed, feeling quite warm and in his arms. With his face so close to mine even as I am trapped and caged within his strong arms, I suddenly find myself wanting to wake him up with a gentle kiss.

Iieeeehhhh... Ang harot harot mo, Nicomaine!

But for now, I bask in the warmth that his arms provide me. In the safeness within.

Safe...

That was the first word that popped up in my head when I woke up a while ago and saw how we were in sleep. He's my safe haven. And as long as I'm with him, I know I will be all right.

So I snuggle a little closer to him, my head going against his chest and see him smile a little, prompting me to think that he might not really be asleep anymore.

"Gising ka na 'no?" I mumble even as I wrap my arms around his middle and bury myself more in his embrace.

"Hmm..." he starts, his voice still rough with sleep. "Sinong gising? Wala pang gising. Tulog pa 'ko. Nanaginip pa ako 'di ba? Isang napakagandang panaginip. Kung saan 'yung babaeng mahal ko eh nakapulupot sa'kin. ARAY!"