The diary of a hidden lesbian

Chapter 9

Chapter 9; Natasha's P.O.V

Well, Sky's home from the hospital now. She's recovering really well, but she still can't remember much from before her accident. At least she was getting better. I've been going to her house most nights. I've been helping her and just keeping her company. It's been really great getting to know her and getting closer, I can't lie about that. But, knowing that someday she'll get her memory back and she'll go back to not wanting anything to do with me. And yet again, I will be heart broken.

We'll be going back to school tomorrow(sadly, spring break has ended.) So, I'm going to her house now to help her prepare for what will come with tomorrow. She's asked me to stay over and help her get dressed for school in the morning like she usually would and help her communicate with others as she did before her accident. She doesn't want people knowing about her memory loss. As you should be able to tell, I'm ecstatic! NOT! I'm dreading it. Like I said before, she'll go back to not wanting anything to do with me. Which again, leads to the breaking of my heart.

I pulled up in Sky's drive way and she flew through her front door before I had gotten a chance to shut off my car. She walked eagerly to my side with the most amazing smile ever, I swear it would give a goddess a run for her money. When she was close to me, she flung her arms around my neck and hugged me tightly.

"Hey! I've missed you!" she said, her smile growing bigger.

"I saw you last night." I chuckled and hugged her around her waist.

"I know, but I've been lonely. My parents are still gone and Lacie is at her new boyfriends house for the night." she tightened her grip on my neck.

"Ooh, I missed you too." I gave her a gentle smile.

"I got movies for us to watch." she said, grabbing my hand and leading me to her front door.

As we walked, I turned around and pushed the button on my key chain to lock the car. As we walked into her room, she released my hand and plopped on her bed. My hand ached to feel her touch again, I ignored it. I noticed her TV was on and she had been watching Friends. I walked up to her bed and sat next to her. We watched a couple of episodes. During the middle of the second episode, I felt my hand tingle in enjoyment and satisfaction. When I glanced at my hand, I noticed hers was on top of mine, she was stroking my hand with her thumb. I gently but awkwardly pulled my hand away, pretending to check the time on my phone.

I noticed her looking at me, so I looked up to meet her glance and was slammed with her bottom lip sticking out slightly. "Uhh...we should start getting you ready for tomorrow." I said, trying my hardest not to press my lips to hers.

"I guess so..." She pouted a little before she noticed me looking at her lips.

I wanted nothing more than to hold her in my arms all night and kiss her soft, beautiful pink lips. But I know it'll just hurt me in the long run. I was already pretty deep in with her, which is going to hurt bad enough when things go back to normal. I don't think I'd be able to survive the heart ache if I got any closer with her.  

I got up and walked to Sky's computer and patted the spot next to me, she gave me a questioning look, but sat next to me. We spent a couple hours on Facebook and Twitter as she went through part s of her life and her friends. A couple things came back to her memory, but not enough to be a break through. She looked at me with confusion and longing in her eyes.

"That's it." she said closing the web browser. "I don't want to look through this anymore. I want to know about our relationship before the accident." A pleading look in her eyes as she walked back over to the bed and sat down.

"We didn't have a relationship." I avoided her gaze as I spoke. "I tried telling to I love you and possibly making you see that you love me too, but you always pushed me away." I felt awkward. I have been dreading this moment since I started helping her. I didn't really want to be having it, it reminded me of all the times she pushed me away.

"Oh.." She said quietly, looking down for a moment. "Well, what happened the night of the accident? I remember you being there, but that's about it.

I avoided her gaze again as I spoke. "Well, we had a moment a couple days before and that night I was trying to talk to you again. But you wanted nothing to do with me. You were um...trying to prove to me that you didn't want me and you made out with some guy in front of me. We got into a fight and you had me on the ground when you walked towards the water. I got up to try and keep you away from the water, but you must have thought I was trying to finish the fight." I paused looking down at my hands and biting my lip nervously. "You lost your balance and fell into the water. When you didn't come up, I ran to get help. A bunch of people and myself were in the water looking for you for what seemed like forever..." I looked up at her to see her expression. Her eyes were swirling with hurt.

"I'm..I'm so sorry.."She said quietly as she bit back tears.

"Just forget it, we both did things we shouldn't have that night." I tried to fight the urge to hold her, but was failing. To stop myself, I went over to look through the DVD's that were stacked by her TV.

"I don't want to be like that anymore." She said softly after a while. "I can't pretend I don't love you after all we've been through. I'm done pretending." She got off the bed and came over to me. She knelt down with me and wrapped her arms around my waist and rested her chin on my shoulder. "I love you." She whispered softly.

Let me know what you think of the new chapter :D But more importantly what do you think of our new editor, hasnt she done an amazing job???? :)