My Reason for Living

Chapter 1: The Beginning

(Joseph Adams)

     I can feel the cool, serene water take over my body as I swim with all my power. I recall memories of him; every swim meet and every school program that he always seemed to come to. My dad was always there; and now he's gone. Now he's buried in the ground at some cemetery in Miami. He left, just like that. Poof. Gone. And I'm still here, waiting for it all to be a horrible dream; waiting to wake up and see him sitting at the breakfast table with a stack of pancakes. But, it's already been 2 months and he isn't back yet, and I realize that he won't ever be.

     Mom, on the other hand, is still alive, but she's been gone for a long time. When I was five she used to come home every night with breath that smelt of beer, and legs that gave in at every step. She would stomp on the stairs and throw her head back laughing when she tripped. Dad never approved, they would always yell at each other until she was begging for another chance. Every time she said that things would be different, that she would change. But she never did.

     By the time I was six, dad had custody and mom was in rehab. Dad would read me bedtime stories and tell me mom was going to be okay. He made me breakfast and took me to school.

     Time passed by, and he was a great dad, but I always ached to have my mom; I wanted to hear her comforting words when I was feeling insecure. And I wanted to be able to tell her about Tommy Baker and my insane crush on him. All the things I couldn't tell my dad, but all the things I wished to tell.

     Now, I'm stuck in a house with my mother all the way in Seattle where it rains all day. And my mother, who is no longer an alcoholic, but a workaholic, drowns herself in papers and meetings, and is still barely home. So, I joined the swim team, and put all my energy into swimming and school, only to deny my loneliness.

     As I remain in my thoughts, still swimming, and bump into someone. Surprise takes over my body as I shoot my head out of the water and see a boy. I memorize every inch of him; brown, longish hair and chocolate brown eyes. His muscular structure and strong jawline prove he's a swimmer. I stare at him in awe, until I feel myself start to drool. I snap out of it and blush.

     "Sorry," I squeak, looking down at the water.

     "It's okay," he starts, then furrows his brows. "Are you new? I've never seen you before."

     I roll my eyes, "I've been here for two months, and nobody knows who I am." I mumble. Face palming myself in my head.

     He lets out a chuckle and sticks out his hand. "Well, I'm Joseph Adams. Nice to meet you."

     Hesitantly, I slightly reach my hand out to meet his, shaking it weakly then snatching it back.

    "Um, I'm Camila. Camila Jacobson." I plaster a small smile on my face, and awkwardly look at him.

     "I'll see you around, Jacobson." He flashed me a smile and jumps out of the water grabbing his water bottle.

     I copy his motions and enter the locker room and get ready for the rest of the school day. I continue with my normal schedule, and walk to my 3rd period; math class. The class where I have to pretend I'm listening, even though I'm actually doodling. Who cares about geometry anyways? Wow I know that a rectangle is a square! Cool! As I enter I see him there with his perfect hair; Joseph Adams. I can tell he's pretty popular by the people crowding around his desk. He looks at me and starts walking this way.

     "See, I told you I'd see you around." He smiles.

     "Yeah, you did," I agree, giving him a small smile and walking to my desk.

     The teacher, Mr. Zahn, talks all class about geometry. But, I can't seem to pay attention.

     All I can think about is my father, he's 3,297 miles away, and I miss him 

     After class ended, I closed my notebook, which is supposed to be filled with notes, but instead it filled with my attempt at art. I sigh, collect my things, and walk out the door.

     "Hey! Camila!" Joseph jogs to catch up to me, his books threatening to fall out of his bag. Once he's next to me we walk in-sync. "When did you start swimming?"

     "Since the beginning of the year. I guess that proves that I'm practically non-existent. You didn't even know who I was and I'm in your math class."

    "To be fair you didn't know who I was either!" I let out a small chuckle and his brown eyes sparkle. "What's your schedule?"

     I hand him my schedule, and watch him read it. I analyze him, he has the most beautiful face, it's almost as if he was sculpted in the womb. He looks up at me in smirks, "looks like you're stuck with me in 3rd, 5th, and 7th." I roll my eyes and take my schedule back.

     "Well shit, that's really going to suck," I joke.

     "Hey!" He teasingly bumps his shoulder into mine.

     We stand outside of my 4th period, "well, thanks for walking me, I'll see you next period, lunch right?"

   "Yup, see ya," I watch him walk away. And as I sit at my desk, I can't help but think about him. Not my dad.