i sat on the toilet, shaking my leg anxiously.
this was a sure possibility but the truth of it hadn't sunk in till right now. everything since that day had been amazing, things had really turned around. ethan was way more attentive with the kids, i was able to get the girl's birthday off, everything was great.
this was not the time to screw it up.
i'd hid things pretty well from ethan, but i think he had his suspicions. i know he'd be nothing but supportive, nothing but loving, nothing but caring.
i ran my shaky hands through my hair, holding my head. this was suppose to be exciting, not terrifying.
but i couldn't help but be just that.
i turned my head, staring at the pregnancy test sitting on the bathroom sink.
it'd been close to twenty minutes, and i couldn't bring myself to look at the results. i took two shaking fingers, picking up the white stick so i could look at it. gentle tears rolled down my cheeks when i saw the red negative sign. a relieved breath left my lungs.
i feel guilty for being relieved, but yet, ethan and i really didn't need another child on our hands. a knock sounds from the other side of the door.
"mommy? i think livvy's hurt." ava says to me, and my heart stops. i jump up from toilet, flushing, and i carelessly toss the test into the garbage, and as i'm pulling my pants up, i'm frantic.
"where's daddy?"
"dunno."
i fly out of the bathroom and she leads to me to where olivia is sitting on a chair in the dining room, bleeding from a cut on her arm. not a little one either. i rush to pick her up, putting her on the kitchen counter so i can clean it up.
"this might sting a little baby girl." i warn, putting some rubbing alcohol on the cut. she screams.
"fuck!" i hear from the other room, and suddenly, ethan appears in the kitchen. he gives the three of us confused looks.
"what happened?" he asks, his eyes wide.
"olive just got a cut is all. i don't think she needs stitches." i inspect it, wiping it with a wet rag.
"daddy said a bad word!" ava yells, pointing at him. i look at her with a stern expression.
"it isn't nice to point ava," then i look at ethan whose cheeks have turned red.
"and you. what was so bad that you had to use the f word so loudly?"
"i was...i was just trying to get some work emails done." he says hesitantly, pointing a thumb towards where he had just come from.
i give him a long look, my eyes narrowed.
"girls, i think daddy needs a time out." i smirk, my gaze holding his. he lets out a frustrated sigh, rolling his eyes and running a hard hand through his hair.
"yeah! daddy needs a big time out!" ava exclaims, all too excited. i look to olivia, her eyes puffy and red, and she nods. cupping her face, i wipe away her tears and give her a smile. picking her up in my arms i start to head towards the stairs.
"and where should daddy have a timeout?" i ask, loud enough for him to hear me.
"the bathroom!" ava cries, jumping in excitement. i can't help but chuckle. i stop at the foot of the stairs, looking back at ethan, who refuses to face me.
"you heard her, upstairs mister." i call. he continues to stand his ground.
"you have until three." still nothing.
i start making my way up the stairs.
"one." i call, heading to our room.
"two." i lay olivia in our bed, kissing her forehead.
"thr-" i hear the bathroom door slam.
"did i make daddy mad?" olivia asks softly, her eyes welling with tears.
"oh baby no, no, not at all. daddy's just stressed that's all. you just rest okay mommy will back in a little bit okay?" she nods, closing her eyes.
i make my way halfway down the stairs, just far enough to see ava sitting on the couch.
"have you picked up your toys in the playroom?" i ask, and she immediately hurries off.
i let out a slow breath, turning my head towards the bathroom. making my way up, i slowly open the door. ethan was sitting on the edge on the tub, his chin in his hands, eyes narrowed at the floor. i close the door behind me, leaning against it, hands behind my back.
