13 Reasons why // The 14th Reason

// 21 //

I woke up early on Saturday. Early enough to say goodbye as my parents went to the shop. I was wearing my skinny jeans and a vest with a large blanket wrapped around me as I lazily lounged on the couch, watching TV. 

About half way through my film, I decided to get a glass of water so I stood up and wrapped the large blanket around me, wincing as I almost knocked over a glass vase before shuffling into the kitchen. However, before I could get there the doorbell rang. I sighed, walking over to open it. I then immediately shut it again. It didn't shut completely though and Zach cursed as I pushed against the door.

"Melanie, Stop!" I sighed and opened the door slightly, poking my head round. He only called me Melanie if he was seriously pissed.

  "Zach, how many times do I have to say it. Piss off! I don't want to hear it, okay." I sighed, fiddling with the edge of the blanket which was still wrapped around me. I noticed Zach smiling at my actions and immediately stopped.

"Mel... Just let me talk, okay? Five minutes and I'll be gone." He pleaded. I narrowed my eyes at him, thinking for a moment.

"Five minutes." I nodded, stepping back to let him walk inside.  

*           *          *

Mrs Bradley had made a class discussion bag. one time she read a note out of it,

'What if the only way to stop feeling bad is to stop feeling anything at all, forever.'

If only I'd known then that they were Hannah's cry for help.

*           *           *

You had to know that I wrote that note Zach. And you said nothing. You let everyone think it was Skye. Why didn't you speak up?

*          *          *

I sat across from Zach pn the sofa. He was sitting uneasily in a chair. After a few moment sof awkward silence i spoke up.

"Why, Zach?" My voice was quiet and Zach looked at me pleadingly.

"I didn't think that she'd react like that."

"You knew, Zach. You knew she needed help. You were the only one. Why didn't you say anything?"

"I freaked. Okay? That letter... That shit was heavy and, I didn't know what to do. I assumed that you must  have known something. Or if you didn't it was for a reason I - I - I'm sorry. I didn't know what to do."

"So you just, tossed it away?" I scoffed.

"No." Zach replied. I looked up in confusion. "No I didn't, Hannah lied about that. Maybe that's what she saw, I don't know. I freaked out. But I never threw it away." He pulled out his wallet from his back pocket and unfolded a peice of paper slightly so that I could see the name on the front. In Hannah's handwriting, Zach's name was clearly written.

I looked down at the slip of paper that Zach clutched and felt tears rise.

"I'm sorry, Mel. I'll always be sorry." That was when the tears broke and I let out a sob, falling to my knees on the floor. Within seconds , Zach was kneeling beside me, cradling me in his arms and whispering in my ear as I clutched his t-shirt, sobbing.

*          *          *

Once I had calmed down I sat back on the sofa, Zach sitting close enough next to me that our thighs touched. 

"Why did you ask Hannah out?" I asked the vase on the table, not able to look at him.

"It was stupid." He sighed, putting his head in his hands. "We were fighting and I was just being a dick... I'm truly sorry, Melanie, please believe me." He leaded and I turned to look at him. I nodded silently and he leant forwards to hug me. I let his arms wrap around me, relaxing in their warmth and comfort but when his lips neared mine, just as they were about to brush, I pulled back.

"I-I can't. Not just yet." I admitted sadly. Zach pulled away and nodded. 

"I understand."

*           *          *

See I have a theory, Zach. I have this theory that you're lonely too. Could that be possible? What kind of lonely could the great Zach Dempsey possibly feel. Maybe that kind where you think no-one truly sees you. I know that kind of lonely. Do you?

No one knows what's really going on in another person's life. And you never know how what you do will affect someone else. And if that goes for me, it must go for everyone. Even cheerleaders.

*          *           *

I was stood by my locker, trying, and failing, to stop all my books falling out. I groaned in frustration but turned slightly when Clay spoke up loudly. He was followed by Courtney and a few students I'd never seen before, the foreign exchange students.

"Look everyone, It's Justin Foley and Zach Dempsey, star basketball players here at Liberty High. Hey, Justin, where's my bike?" He turned back to the students, "Justin stole my bike." He explained.

"What the fuck are you doing?"Justin asked as he stopped his conversation with Zach across the hallway from me.

"I'm giving our new foreign exchange students a tour. Figured they should know who runs the place. What's next. oh yeah, the auditorium. But first, I want to show you something super cool."

I watched warily as I shut my locker and Clay walked towards me.

"Clay, cut it out." Courtney hissed. He ignored her.

"Look at these lockers. They all look alike, right? Not this one." He pointed to the locker next to mine. Hannah's locker. "This one is special. It belonged to a girl who killed herself."

"Clay, come on." Courtney urged. I watched wide eyed. 

"Clay, are you okay?" I asked. He turned to me as though he'd just seen me.

He wrapped an arm round my shoulders and pulled me to his side. "And this, is the dead girl's sister." I gasped as he began talking about the posters that littered the walls, his arm still around my shoulders. Then Zach stepped forward, grabbing my arm and pulling me away from Clay.

"The fuck are you doing, Jensen?" He hissed as I felt my eyes beginning to sting. He pulled me to the lockers on the other side of the hallway and we watched as Clay continued yelling.

"The posters weren't up before. They put them up because she killed herself. And why did she do it? Because the kids here treated her like shit!"

"Jensen, that's enough." Justin stepped forward but Clay batted his hand away,

"But no one wants to admit it so they paint over the bathrooms and put up a memorial because that's the kind of school that this is. Everyone is just so nice, until they drive you to kill yourself. And sooner or later, the truth will come out. It's gonna come out." By this point the tear were dripping quietly down my cheeks and I didn't push Zach away when he hugged me to his chest.

Clay looked to his left and saw Tony enter,

"Right, Tony? Right? You know the truth."

"Clay!" Mr porter called as he pushed through the crowd of students that had gathered. "I think you should come with me right now. Get to class, everybody! All you, get to class."

Clay scoffed and turned back to us,

"Welcome to Liberty High."