it's numb.
everything's numb.
i should've started revising for social studies an hour ago.
but i'm not doing it.
i hear my dad coming upstairs. i quickly pull out my study book and pretend to read my notes. thankfully he walks right by me.
i'm slapping a rubber band against my ring finger. it hurts, but i need a sensation of at least something right now.
a wave of cold rushes over me. i do not know where it came from, but suddenly, i'm warm again.
my ring finger's gone completely red, so i switch to my pinky.
i decide to put on some music. maybe it will get me to think.
it's unappropriately happy, but i think that's what i need.
my pinky's gone red too, so i'm switching to my middle finger
a voice in my head tells me to pull the band harder and harder. so i do.
oh my god, it hurts. but i can't stop doing it.
my middle finger is really red. i give it a few last slaps before starting to torture my pointer.
i'm scrolling through twitter, not really focusing on anything. i feel blind and uninterested.
i've switched to my thumb now. it hurts a bit more than the others, but i don't mind.
i've began to doodle random shapes on my arm. there are a few mazes covering my lower left arm. it doesn't give me a sensation, but at least it keeps me occupied.
i'm still filled with a feeling of utter boredom. everything seems so pointless.
everything's numb.
![](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/131807645-288-k243570.jpg)
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thursday night emotions
Randoma description of what my brain and body feel like right now