Living Dead [A Marina and the Diamonds Fanfiction]

Chapter 8

I sat awkwardly in my blue printed dress, my hair up in a backcombed ponytail, as Lizzy and Marina chatted about Coachella and Lollapalooza and who would be headlining Glastonbury this year. Marina, saying I was too thin, had made me eat the entire first course even though I would have much rather saved room for the main. The salad was very good, full of nuts and fancy cheese and dressed in oil. It was only about a half-cup in itself, but I didn't want to risk eating too much. There were five courses, after all.

Marina was incredibly relaxed, laughing easily, and Lizzy I found to be almost unnaturally smiley. She smiled nearly constantly as she talked, and as Marina answered and asked questions she listened with this soft, contented grin. It didn't seem forced to me, though. She just loved laughing at the world.

I was getting fidgety and restless, my hands shaking as my nose became intensely acute to the smell of ethanol that lingered by the bar. I needed a fucking drink and I needed it now. After one shot to get that buzz it's much easier to go dry for a few weeks than it is after a binge. I have to reduce it down to three shots, and decrease by one over three days.

Just as the waiter was taking my plate away in preparation for a soup, I heard a soft ding at the front door. Someone with long, wavy red-brown hair in a bright red sheath dress walked over to Marina and Lizzy, lowered her sunglasses, and gave them both hugs. She sat down next to me, but put her lips up to my ear and chanted in an incredibly sultry whisper that was meant to be somewhat silly:

"Money is the anthem / of success / so put on mascara / and your party dress." 

I turned to face the woman and found the doe eyes of Lana del Rey blinking back at me. Not Lizzy Grant. Lana, with her pout unchanged. But that quickly reversed when she saw my shaking hands. She opened her purse and pulled out a packet of Mentos. "Here. Take the mints, and I'll go chat up the bartender. I know alcohol withdrawal when I see it. What do you normally drink?" She spoke quietly, gently, a complete contrast to Lizzy's brashness and Marina's ignorance to my situation. She had hardly spoken to me all night; but of course, I had no idea how to join into the conversation.

"Cheap strawberry vodka."

"You like the harshness?"

"Hell no. I like the burn though."

"You want a cocktail, a beer, or a bottle of wine?"

“You choose. Something pretty."

"Cocktail then."

The Mentos were slightly squashed, but tasted the same in my mouth as they would normally. Lana went and bought my drink, a girly pink thing that tasted of strawberries and orange zest, with the burn going down my throat that I associated with vodka. I couldn't tell what was muddled at the bottom, but it looked all right. And you know what? My hands stopped shaking. I began to relax, and I felt myself getting drunk. Well, maybe. I never slurred my words or got angry and was able to catch Marina's phone without an issue when she wanted me to Google something.

Lizzy, Lana, and I started talking like old friends, Marina joining in here and there while daintily sipping chilled zucchini and lemon soup. There was an odd zest to her tone now, not joyful and celebratory like it was when she was talking to Lizzy alone.

Thankfully, none of them brought up my mom or why or how I got to staying at Marina's, just if I liked it. I said yes I did, and pulled my black cardigan over my shoulders.

"Hefty bruise you have there." Lizzy licked pale pink lipstick from her teeth, pointing to my forehead. "How'd you get that?"

"Uh... A car nearly hit me. I fell." I didn't lie. Just didn't feel the need.

"Whoa. Well I hope you're okay. Did you go to the doctor?"

"Yeah." It was just then that I realized Lana was giving me daggers. She knew I had withheld some of the truth. I blushed. "Lana, why are you staring?" I said in one flustered breath. She then let it rest with a tiny wink in my direction when she realized Marina's eyes were on her; a slightly disapproving glance. The waiter brought my roast pork just then, and I busied myself with horseradish sauce and new pink-skinned potatoes. He also brought me a glass of dealcoholized Chardonnay. Best wine I've ever had, to be honest.

--------------------------------------------------------

Hi hi! I know it's short and possibly terrible, but it took me AGES to write. You'll find out what was in Amber's drink in the next chapter. By the way, I felt the need to include Lana because of her former alcoholism. I thought it was important that Amber had someone that really understood her in that moment. Ellie may make an appearance later too.

<3 xxx

g