Supernatural BSM And Maybe DDM

Screw up

Bsm:dean/sam/you
Summary: You seem to just mess up everything, at least thats what you think. Your brothers get mad at you for messing up a hunt and a fight was had. A secret comes out in the heat of the moment.

(A/n): Its been a while but sorry for the shitty summary; hope y'all enjoy :)
Warnings: mention of self harm and self hatred, if these are triggers for you please stay safe and skip this chapter <3
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"(Y/n) whats taking so long? We need to get a move on." Dean yelled from the other side of the door.

"Sorry! I'll be out in a sec." You replied while wrapping your wrist. You slowly stand up and hide your weapon of choice, then you walk out seeing your brothers doing last minute research. "Ready" they look up.

"About time." Deans says as he walks past you to get his duffle. Sam nods and you follow them out.
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A few minutes later you're all fighting it out with about four diffrent ghost. It was going great till you went off because you thought you heard somthing. Next thing you know your feeling like you heart is being ripped out (litteraly) and when your brothers hear your screams they drop everything and come running. They manage to save you but things just got ten times harder and you know that its all your fault yet again. "DEAN WATCH OUT!" You yell but not in time, you aim and shot the round full of salt at the ghost torturing dean. You hit the ghost but also hit dean to. And all though those rounds dont kill they sting like a son of a bitch.

"Aghhh" dean falls holding his side.
"Y/N just finish the damn job." He manages to say. You stand frozen in shock as you realize that you just shot your brother. Sam pushes past you lights the bones on fire; a job Dean gave you not Sam. You run and pick up dean as best you can supporting him with your entire body weight. Sam comes and takes dean from you. You feel like crying when Sam glares at you as if you did something unforgivable.
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At home (or hotel) Dean is sitting/lying on the bed with a could beer to his lips and frozen peas on his side icing to wound you caused. "(Y/n) what were you thinking, huh? You almost got yourself killed." Dean says as he sits up on the side of his bed.

"Again" Sam adds. You see Dean nod and you feel tears start to prick at your eyes.

"M'sorry" you mutter barely loud enough for them to hear. "M'so sorry, I thought-"

"You thought what? Thought that you'd go off on your own after i told you we needed to stay togethere?" Dean inturuped.

"I was just trying to help." You look down at your lap.

"Did you ever happen to think that we had it handled and we didnt need your help? All you needed to do was keep watch." Dean's words stung more then John's ever did, because it was Dean the one who was always on your side. But no not this time.

You nodded and got up slowly walking towards the bathroom where you'd take it upon yourself to do what you felt was right. That was to punish yourself for what you did. It'd hut but at least you knew you deserved it.

Suddenly you felt a pain in you wrist, a burning pain to wich you flinched. It was Sam. He had grabbed your wrist the one you had cut this morning. You turned and yanked your arm away. "What was that (y/n)? Are you hurt!?" You stutter as he grabs your arm back and pulls up your sleeve. His eyes go wide and you swear you see him start to cry. But no that's not right, they dont care enough to cry about you. "(Y/n/n) what did you do?" You look down and see all the scars that he does past and present. What you dont see is dean slowly walking over and taking your arm out of Sam's hand and into his own.

You expect him to be mad, yell at you for being selfish or for being stupid. But he just stands there silently until he pulls you in a tight hug. You hear him sniffle a little right before he kisses your head. "Baby girl you dont have to do this to yourself."

"But I do everything wrong. Im a poor excuse for a hunter. I deserve the pain every bit of it." You start to sod and your words start to run together. "Ithoughtyo- youha- hated m-me a-and you should!"

"No, no sweetheart we dont we would never hate you. (Y/n) dont deserve this you're so smart and kind. You're the best baby sister we could ever ask for."Sam jumps in. "I'm so sorry you feel this way and we'll spend the rest our lives changing your mind. We'll do whatever it takes."

Your still holding onto Dean with your face hidden in his chest. He strokes your hair and whispers, " where are the blades hidden? I need you to tell me so we can help you." You shake your head crying more now. "Please babygirl I promise we aren't mad we just want to help our favorite girl in the world." You slowly nod ad let got him then lead him to the bathroom Sam following suit.

You point to a very slight hole in the wall. "There." Sam leans down and takes the baggy out which has three separate razors in it. "I'm so sorry De, Sammy." They hug you tight.

"Theres nothing to be sorry about sweetheart, nothing at all." Dean says. "We'll help you stop this ok? No more hurting yourself. No on my watch... not ever."

"We love you so so so much (y/n)." Sam adds, they take you out of the bathroom and one lays with you as the other disposed of the blades. They promise to never let you feel that way again and you hope that they are telling the truth.
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(A/n) ok so I'm not so proud about this but I hope y'all liked it. I just don't feel like it's written very well but oh well. :)
Yo girl~ Sam (Samantha)