Fate Has A Name // zerrie au

[3] Perrie & Zayn

[Chapter 3] Perrie

It was still dark when I tiptoed through the back door once I used my key to silently unlock it. I made sure my footsteps were silent as they cautiosuly padded up the staircase and down the hall to my room. I was sure the sound of the outside gate opening would awake my parents, but it seems they're still caught up in their slumber which I was thankful for. Even though this house is too large and sleek to be considered a home, I'm sure my absence did not go unnoticed. My parents seems to know everything that's happening in my life before I do and of all situations this wasn't going to be an exception. It would be a miracle if I didn't get caught. Well technically I already did get caught, by Henry, our butler, but he would never say a word to my parents about it. He was always on my side and was more of a favorite uncle to me than a butler. He saw me in the hall on his way to the lou but completely ignored my presence as if he hadn't seen me. That man is too kind to me.

I slowly turned the knob on my bedroom door and once it was tightly shut I threw my shoes onto the carpet and immediately ripped the dress from my body and exchanged it for a T-Shirt and shorts. That thing was getting itchy and uncomfortable after wearing the whole night- well, half the night, anyway. Let's just say I wasn't the only one lacking clothing. 

So yes, Zayn and I had sex, and frankly, I feel kind of disgusting. I mean I just jumped on someone who I didn't know a thing about besides what he looked like and his age-nineteen he had told me with a grin when I asked him. I felt like a slut and a skank, but at the same time I felt, confident? There was just something so satisfying knowing that I could lure a hot stranger into sleeping with me. It sounds kind of low, but it somehow gave my self esteem a boost. Okay now I really feel like a slut.

There's nothing wrong with being a slut, I reminded myself, but the thought didn't stick very well to my memory. You are a human being with needs that have to be met, you do not have to be in a relationship for that to happen. This wasn't really working, the disgust I still felt for myself was present and it made me feel horrible. How do people who sleep around all the time live with this feeling everyday? I have a new found admiration fore those who manage to.

I sighed and after I ran a brush through my hair I pulled back the soft blanket on my bed and slipped in under it. As images of the telly were flashing across the screen I stared blankly at it, while my mind was anything but. It was making the migraine I have had since the party worsen every second.I could not get the dark haired boy out of my thoughts no matter how hard I tried. I couldn't stop thinking of the way he touched me as if he knew exactly what was the most pleasuring to me and just the words to say to put me over the edge. Obviously he knew what he was doing from experience. He, unlike me, probably had a lot of it. I had only ever given myself to two previous boyfriends and neither of them have ever made me experience so... hot and just good. Maybe it's just an ability he was born with, or maybe the guys that I have been with before just didn't know how to please a lady.

-

I opened my eyes and yawned as I stretched my arms out. I found it strange that I was  not woken up in the morning. Usually Henry serves as my personal alarm clock but today I was allowed to sleep in. That can't be a positive sign. I might as well notify Henry that I'd prefer a mahogany coffin because I am so dead. 

I stood up and rubbed my eyes before trudging over to my bathroom. I figured if I was going to be punished I might as well do it not smeeling of sex or alcohol. I don't think that would be appreciated by my parents very much considering they scold me for saying anything as vulgar as 'crap'. I rid myself of my clothing and washed my hair and body under the shower head. I had felt less disgusting than I did last night (or this morning, I'm not sure what time I actually came home) but the feeling was almost completely dissolved now and replaced with one of being refreshed. After I finished scrubbing the filth of last night off my body I dried myself with a towel and pinned my hair up into a pony tail. I made sure to take my time as I searched for an outfit to wear, not really in anxious to confront my mom and dad. I'd much rather put it off as long as possible, but I have to leave the safety of my room sometime and, unfortunately, that time is now.