wanna be yours /h.s/

Authors Note. Please Read.

How cool is that edit? I found it on google and I ADORE it.

Anyway - I preach and plead and I continue to do so, so here it comes.

I know most people on this book will be those who favour reading fan fiction.
But I'm hoping that you like my writing, and praying you might like it more so in my new book, because I'm older and as I've aged, so has my writing.
Sadly it's not a fan fiction, but it follows (for the most part) the same layout as this book- except more of it isn't in text/letter talk.

It's called 'My Perfect Imperfections' and here is the first chapter.

            

TEARS STRIKE THE FLOOR like sheets of lighting bouncing off the earth's surface. I wipe at my face once, twice, three times before I blearily drop my hand and continue to let the torrential flood of my heartbreak soak the hardwood floor.

A home that was once filled with young love and aspirations is reduced to the solitude of what could have been. Pictures of me with him still line the walls but I don't care – I don't want reminders of how I once was. Of what I will never be again. His.

A hand drops to my shoulder, cupping it gently, "Let's go Pen." Anthony's voice does nothing to soothe the internal damage taking place in my heart. It only solidifies what's happening. This is it.

I nod and wordlessly walk out the front door of our – now his, home.

Each step away from the front door is another blow to my heart and I flinch when Anthony shuts the door to what was supposed to have been my future.

"Come here darling," My dad croons with glossed over eyes from his position in the back of Anthony's car, I walk on shaky legs and let myself fall into his familiar, comforting hold in the back seat. My eyes flutter shut once I am encased in his arms, away from the harsh truth of reality.

"Daddy," I croak, body trembling "It hurts so bad."

His grip on my shoulders tightens, "We are going to get through this. Your brother and I are here for you."

"How did you get through this?" I whisper coarsely, "I can't see past the pain."

"Look at me," He orders softly, so I lift my head and look into his eyesthat shine with troubles from the past and the present, "You want to know how you'll get through this? You need to gather all that pain and betrayal and get it out your system in best way you can. Let the wound bleed until it's it doesn't cripple you – until it is nothing but a sharp, fleeting sting. And then? Then you live like you haven't been hurt, you laugh like you've never cried. You realise that your greatest love is your love for yourself and then you share that love with someone who deserves you. Do not let that boy shape who you are,because if he has caused you pain, he doesn't love you like you should love yourself. So, then he's not worth another tear."

✿❀❁

You need to gather all that pain and betrayal and get it out your system in the best way you can.

I repeat my dad's words over and over as I ponder on where to begin.

I grab my notebook and pen from the bedside table and do what my dad said. I let the emotions bleed out from my heart and onto the page.

June 12th, 2018. 23:09.

Dear Oliver,

I miss us; the old us.

The us that was filled to the brim with love and coated in a happily ever after.

The us that no longer lingers;

the us that is somehow still burrowed into my soul,

carved in my heart.

The us I wish we still were,

the us we are no longer.

I miss the us before you started looking at her.

I miss the you before her,

and as of recently,

the me before you.

-       Aspen.
☼☼☼☼☼☼

AUTHORS NOTE.

Well that is the first chapter. Wow my heart hurts a little! I hope you all enjoyed. Sorry if it's not good, it's my first time writing a book (and not just editing old ones I wrote as a teenager) in a long time.

- Saz♥