I walked back inside feeling unsteady on my feet. I could still feel where his cold fingers had touched my cheeks. I believed he was alive a few minutes ago because it was what I saw. Now that I have everyone from my present here in front of me, it seems impossible.
"Are you alright?" Nicholas asked.
"Yes" I lied. "But I would rather be in my room alone."
I marched off into my room and saw Anthony sitting on my bed like he had promised.
"I really don't like that guy." Anthony said.
I smiled weakly. Something inside of me didn't give me the enough force to even smile back at the man I so dearly loved. A jabbing pain came from my stomach and I cringed. My arms and legs felt hopeless.
"Nat, Nat! Are you feeling okay?" he pressed his cheek to mine and I could feel him breathing on me "Are you sick?"
"Sick? No."
He laid me on the bed and I felt my body just go limp. He turned towards the door as I heard someone coming up the stairs. My eyes became too heavy to even see Anthony disappear before my sight went black and I lost every recognition of that moment............
I opened my eyes and the bright white lights made me squint. I looked around it took me a while to realize where I was. The monitors beeping became instantly annoying after only a few seconds. I looked down at the rail of the bed looking for the nurse button. When I about pressed it, Nicholas came in.
"Hey Natalie" he whispered.
"Hey" I breathed.
I couldn't believe the sound of my own voice, it was so weak and horse.
"Need water?" he asked.
I nodded.
He took three quick strides to the small table for the white cup. He bent the straw for me to drink. I knew Nicholas wasn't mean on purpose, he just isn't the kind to show feelings.
"Thanks" I told him when I was done. "Where's my mom at Nick?"
He stared at me for a second and I guessed it was for me calling him Nick. I never called him Nick but Nicholas just seems too long of a word to say now.
"She'll be back. She went home to freshin' up."
I nodded.
And like magic she appeared. Her eyes went big as she saw that I was awake.
"Mom, what's wrong with me?" I said beating her to talk.
Her eyes fell a little and Nicholas stood.
"I'll leave you two alone to talk." he said disappearing out the door.
My mom sat beside me and she still wouldn't look me in the eyes.
"Mom, just say it"
Afraid I wasn't of what ever the truth was, I'd gone through a lot of crap already.
"You have been diagnosed with..." she stopped and her hands went to her face, hiding the tears that I knew were spilling down her face.
I looked away from her, taking in deep breathes. "Mom" I said calmly.
"AIDS okay! You've been diagnosed with AIDS."
I looked up at the ceiling trying to absorb it. Course it made sense but I didn't want to believe it. All those guys.....
Unexpected tears flowed down my face. How stupid had I been to actually sleep with all of them. My hand searched for the hand I knew I couldn't hold now. Anthony.
